Forgotten Lost Angel

2005-12-12T19:10:00.000-08:00

I will no longer be updating Forgotten Lost Angel.

2005-12-02T11:36:00.000-08:00

I will not be making any post until someone request that i do so, because I am not sure if anybody still checks this site.
just tag the request on my tag board.
-K-

2005-11-23T11:37:00.000-08:00

Today is Jason's Birthday [ out third guitarist ]

Happy Birthday Jason!

i know...u probably don't go online...but i'm puttig it up anyways...
*sigh*

and ummm...
well...congrats Jasam! i'm glad u had "a Blast" at the Pageant ^__^
Really! ^__^

well...umm..
ahhh
Jason might go to Corvette Diner with Julian and his father...but who knows right?
...tomorrow is thansgiving.
Happy Turkey day to everyone!
i hope...everyone has fun.

would you like to know the things i'm grateful for?
well...
i don't feel like putting it down.
[ too long ^_~ ]

well...bye

2005-11-21T14:54:00.000-08:00

I Don't know what to post and i don't know what to say...
The awkward beginning has already begun. I don't know how i'm suppose to approach everything. I just feel like being away from it all, But i know what i have to do.
And now...my "time limit" has begun...the clock is ticking. I have to hurry.
Haste will not make me any younger but it will get me where I want to be much quicker.

What's going to be the ending product of all my work? i don't know.
would it matter? maybe...

I hate being alone...it makes me think so much.

I hate being alone.

2005-11-17T18:48:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow [ Today ] we're going to a show...
we're going to watch Haste The Day and Scary Kids Scaring Kids

it should be fun...since everyone is going.

and umm...thats all.

2005-11-14T14:29:00.000-08:00

XD

she looked soo beautiful today! [ why don't i ever tell her?! XD ]
maan...it felt like i hadn't seen her in the longest.
...it felt good just walking by her side...i couldn't really ask for more. i'll keep the rest of the details to myself.

i haven't really got much to say except that.
oh and i don't recommend the movie/anime Ninja Scroll.

thats all

always

"K"

2005-11-11T16:05:00.000-08:00

[ nothing is bothering me ]

[ Cafe Night ]

First of all i would like to thank Straight-Gay-Alliance for giving us the opportunity to perform last night and would like acknoledge all the bands that performed along side us as well. thanx everyone!. The Gig was better than expected.
and the brownies were teh Shit! XD ( Courtesy of Sara Lee's mother/ and GSA ) they were super delicious!

...were do i begin? hmmm.ok ^_^ i know.
after school yesterday [ i know i'm keeping u all in suspense ]
i saw "HER". [ i know what ur thinking..."oh god...he's going to start talking about "HER" ...damn it! XD " ]
ahh...yes..i saw her after school. She looked really down ...i didn't knwo what to do! i didn't know how i could make things better for her. she said she's falling behind in Physics class. ...now how could i possibly help in that situation?
i don't know! that's what gets me...i try to come up with something...anything...but i just...can never make the situation any better. I'm sorry bhe! :(
i didn't have much time to stay and be with her because i had practice at 3:00 with everybody at jesse's. Unfortunately she was in there UNTIL three XD. i was hoping she'd get out earlier. *sigh* ...i guess it couldn't be helped.
she gave me a letter and she just left~... :(
...i wanted to kiss her!!! God the urge i had! [ okie enough about that ]
i had to rush to Jesse's. but before that i had to return some videos to the library because they were going to be due the next day and i didn't want to have to bother with it.
i was going to check oout some movies for her...but decided not to.
[ i was moody now ]

At Jesse's we practiced our set 4 times
the set?
-Endless
-Arsonist the Forgiver
& -Another Love Lost

we were only allowed to play 3 songs so yeah.
after that Julian and Jesse loaded the stuff into the van and Me Israel and Luis went walking from there. because we wouldn't all fit in the van.

and uhhm.
yeah we laughed and told jokes on our way to the school.
when we got to the school i realized that "she" might just be in the band room or something.
so i told Luis and Israel i wanted to see her. they were like "no! ur going to ditch us again!" but i didn't intend to. she wouldn't ditch with me anywhere because what she does is real impotant for her. and plus i had a show to perform at.
when i saw her she looked...tired? rushed? i don't know...but in an instant she was gone and that was it.
then i went to the drama building and we unloaded all the stuff.
we soud checked and we sat down on the little chairs.

the place was really nice. it had alot of chairs and tables with candles lit up and it was just greaT.
i kept thinking about her...
...and that one song from Beck "Full Moon Sways"
i don't know why... lol

anyways...
...as i sat on that candle lit table i saw bands perforn and skits as well. and yeah.

i was beginnnig to feel the pressure of being on the stage. my heart was beating soo fast and hard i could swear it was moving m necklace.

i remember i saw her ...she was outside...damn i pushed aside a lot of people! lol.
when i saw her we smiled at each other. and talked a little....maan..what i was feeling at the moment was intense. my heart was beating even harder...i man i was soo Happy! just hugging her game me "electricity" lol...but...before i even knew it...she was gone.
[ did she say bye? i don't remember...did i tell her good night? did i tell her that i loved her? why don't i remember?!..."]

i was a little upset...i was sad...but i had to hide the way i was feeling. i didn't want to affect others around me...or my performance. i had to put my feelings aside.

when it was our turn we quickly set up and made sure everything was ready. we fixed what little probles we had..then it was show-time.

{ Hope Once Died Performance }
The moment the cuitains opened i kinda froze...i was shocked a little. but the feeling subsided. we played our hearts out and everything went well. we moved like crazy on stage...well..most of the time....and umm..everything went better than expected. after that some other band played and we were done.
everything was done. thats all
that concludes everything

[ originally i had written in specific detail aboout everything...it was MUCH longer...but it got deleted somehow...so i re wrote evrything! XD just for you.
anyways..i'm leaving now...bye everyone! hopefully Hope Once Died will play for Suhi someday...or perhaps for something else.
bye!
Love you bhe...
:)

2005-11-09T18:26:00.000-08:00

XD!

...i feel relaxed right now...i don't know why...
ummm...ahh.....hahahahhaha!
hehehehehehe!
hihihihihihi!
hohohohohoho!
huhuhuhuhuhu!
[ kinda copied someone ]

...i kinda ...don't have privacy so i'll update later.

[ come visit again! ]

2005-11-08T16:29:00.000-08:00

enough about Halloween.

...*ahem*...
something's been bothering me lately...i don't know what it is but it's definately something. i don't know but it makes me really unhappy. what can i say? i can't help how i feel...and i can't help how i feel like feeling.
...what am i saying?!
ugh...whatever...gonna do work now. i'll update later.

[ too frustrated ]

2005-11-01T12:52:00.000-08:00

Booyaka! XD!Reflections on Halloween (costume) Party and Halloween!

[ Halloween (costume) Party ]
First of all...Felipe...your house is freakin hidden and the invitations didn't give much information to where u lived. thanx to you i pissed of my step-father cuz i was taking him the wrong way. you should have at least gave us a list of directions to take from the 805 free-way. ahh anyways.
When we arrived at the "party" [ the party had not really started...did it ever? ]
we were...well..i was kinda shy...because i saw "Her" there. and yeah. and plus i was freakin Starving. everyone that took a ride from me was starving becauze we kept talking about food while looking for felipes house. and his house was really hard to find. because we weren't familiar with the area.
anyways. yeah...
i thought she wouldn't be there because of the location and the hidden-ness of felipes house...
lets see...
my costume wasn't really a costume...and...ahh..i saw lots of people
[ a few actually ] who didn't really have costumes...it kinda made me feel stupid...which is why i took of mine. i bet others felt stupid too. the house was tiny. and...jessica was totally unorganized if she was the one running the show.
by the way...i got "Innocent"!!!! XD
and umm...yeah. i could tell things didn't really go as planned.
and towards the end of the part Jessica and most of the females confined themselves in Felipes room...and we were like "what the fuck? who's running the party then?"
there was no entertainment...and...and...thats why Jesse me and Michael and Danny and someone else Started bumping System of A Down and Slam Dancing and yeah...it was fun.
the food was great. no complaints there.

somethiing else pissed me off...when the girls went to felipes room we knocked and Jessica got mad cuz we were going to "Wake up" felipes little brother.
but Felipe said he wou;ld be bothered by all the noise or whatever. they lied.
And people were pretending to be drunk when drinking their Sangria.[ and Coke ]
...but i heard that Jesse and Danny had secretly sneaked some Liquour in their systems.
i was like Whaaa?
because jesse made a promise to god that he would NEVER drink alcohol...what a fool.

and...umm...
the best part was when i saw my girlfriend.
she looked soo freakin HOt! ...i was like Wooow. ^__^ maan. lol.

lets see...what else...Oh yeah..it would have been fun if they had the game where you have to get an apple with ur teeth in a Huge bucket filled with Water...
THAT would have been fun...it would have been fun if we all took turns dancing in our costumes and yeah...someone recording it...it would have been fun if they had some decent music in the place...it would have been fun if they had hidden the liquor cabinet from Jesse and Danny...it would have been fun if people [ everyone ] would have brought costumes...it would have been fun if they had that one game where people hold these controller thingsy's that shock you. it would have been fun if they had like an obstacle course where u go in the get scared until you pee.
it would have been fun if...we were all together in one room...talking about the old times...and set our differences apart...and just enjoy a piece of cake and drink...and just ...talk.
...maan. this Could have been the best party.
...
when "She" left..all the life left out of me. i wasn't really active...but then i was and i was crazy. and israel and me were outside talking.
"Someone" had the hot's for someone else! lol. who would have thought right?
...well..it was fun. it wasn't boring. because everyone was doing something. and they shou;d have put someone in control of the party.
the witch trials were a failure. maybe cuz Jesse was the judge? ahh who knows.
enough complaining.

[ Halloween! ]
Halloween was great!...
though...ahh nevermind...
It was only Me and israel at first. we got lots of candies and yeah. it was fun. Maan
we saw like..Lots of girls dressed in Super Mini Skirts and they were getting Loads of Candy!. I wasn't Looking! XD....anyways...yeah...ummm...it's not fair! why do they get more candy?!...

We went thru a few houses and we had filled nearly half of our candy bags [ i was using my pillow case ]and then Israel checked his fone and Jesse had called a few times and yeah..we met up with him and we went thru more houses..and we came across a little guy named Sergio. he was Jesse's and Israels friend. he had some friends who were about to go on some runs on the street and go "egg some houses". this is when i was a bad boy.
we egg'd ^#*(^$*#@ house...and ...ahh..maan...we saw egg shells every where in national city.
and yeah..then we followed this on kid who we didn't even know..and we egge'd another house and israel dropped his Glasses and his candie's and it was horrible. because we were all runnning away soo fast. But Oh man it was soo freakin fun!
i gave israel more than half my candy.
and yeah...umm..it was fun.....i got to talk to "Her" over the fone.
i was really happy to hear her voice. it felt as if she was right next to me...but...
i think she couldn't hear us that well because we were talking to her and she wouldn't respond.
ahh who cares.
when i got home i ate half of the remainder of my candy.
and i forced myself to sleep. and i woke up late at night because i couddn't sleep.
i just coudln't.
i ...was thinking about a lot of things.
things that didn't really make sense. but then i began to think about something...someone that did make sense to me...
...i guess i'll just leave it at that.

...and umm..
Oh yeah!!!! My Birthday is this Thursday...just in-case u didn't know.
i doubt many people remember. or want to remember.
i don't think i'll be at home on thursday. i'll be....away.
...and umm..i dunno.
i don't expect much. i just know i'm going to be 17.
...17...my teenage years are begind me now. i won't be feeling like a kid anymore once im 17. i feel like..16 was the last year to be a child.
but now...i dunno...i know i'm gonna mature more...and...yeah.
anyways..i'll stop now.
i'm going to do homework.

see ya everyone...
...see ya luvz...

2005-10-27T16:23:00.000-07:00

[ to Julian ]
can't practice! i have a party to go to! Booyaka!!! XD
lol.."oh well"
plus Jasam's going. so i HAVE to go. cuz she'll be left all alone and she doesn't really know everyone. thats my good excuse.
see ya around i think.~:~:~:~:~:~:~//\\

2005-10-27T16:17:00.000-07:00

Booyaka![ ehh? ]

ummm....Gaia is Blocked on the library computers too!!![ the school blocks Gaiaonline ]
...that is soo unfotunate. *sigh*
...i guess no more gaia for me. [ it's not like i've been on it anyways ]
theres no way i could possibly go on gaia unless she goes on my account.
but she's far too busy.
damn that really sucks.
guess it explains why there aren't too many people in the library now.
...i guess cuz gaia contains Nudity and very strong language.
somewhat.
...
even friendster is blocked....oh well...anyways...
i'm leaving now! gonna go meet someone! [ u already know who u are ]
love lots!
"K"

2005-10-26T17:52:00.000-07:00

[ I Don't Know What Booyaka Is! Xb ]
BOOYAKA!,
Hello again...i don't know what to put up...ahh what the heck...
...i was mistaken of Friday. i though Friday was "No School". Turns out There's "No School" for Learning Center only. ...

Suggggaaaarrr!!!!

oh well...i was really looking forward to it too!!! *sniffs*
well...fortunately there's going to be other "no School" day's i think.
but who knows...,
guess i shouldn't put my hope's up.

well..thats it for today.
See Ya Tomorrow!

A new Layout!

2005-10-26T17:42:00.000-07:00

so what do you people's think about the new layout? is it ok?
i like my bhe's layout...i'll put up her link...^__^

2005-10-25T18:47:00.000-07:00

Booyaka!!! [ something i picked up from someone...don't ask ]
...my last post got deleted somehow T_T...so i'll just start over and get to the point ^__^
where can i purchase [ in National city or in San Diego ]
Squall's Griever Necklace? <-----[ Silver ]
it looks like this

the one above is a cheap copy. but thats what it mainly looks like. and i don't mind cheap copies. i really want it! >.< i've been wanting it for along time...and i think i'll finally be able to afford it! ^__^. so yeah.
i think i saw one in Plaza Bonita. it was in a box. perhaps i'll check it out there.
well...let me in on the info if you guys ever run into one. or if you guys own one maybe i can buy it off you. well..see ya!!!

here's a quote for you guys...

Kith: "...and Monkey's go "Moooo"..."

lol..see ya!

Ohh i just realized they have a whole set for Squalls Necklace!!! Ohhh want that ring!!!!!! >__< "Sugggggaaaarrr!!!"

well i'll leave it at that.

2005-10-25T16:22:00.000-07:00

Here i am again. I saw her today...i was really concerened. because we met eyes and i didn't see happiness right away like i always do. i wasn't welcomed with a "i miss you"...i was welcomed with a "something is wrong". i...know sometihng is realy bothering her...but i could do nothing. well...i hope she's okay. ^__^.
Right Bhe? ur okay right? well...anyways...i'll see her tomorrow. perhaps she'll fell better. ^__^
see ya everyone!...

2005-10-24T20:21:00.000-07:00

Does anyone still check this site? just wondering. since this is the first time i check it in alooong time. ...i guess only people that are bored check this.
well....whatever.....
and people still go on gaia still? i'm freakin rich on gaia. me and you know who.
well....keeping a blog is soo tedious. i know i gotta keep it updated somehow. well..i guess i'll post what i can for now.

so...i heard theres some crazy stuff happening on halloween. i hear a certain someone and something will be on the streets of National city shooting people with paintball guns and whatnot. not only two people...
AND ON halloween theres going to be a house that will be throwing waterballoons and people that pass by. and soo much more. just keep in mind...this halloween will not be one filled with treats...but more rather violenece and Threats. [ so it seems ]
but lets not be scared and lets get tons of candies and barter them in school!. and lets Pilfer the young ones and the Noobs of Halloween!!! Muahahahaha. i hope someone joins me.
i also wish to be with someone in halloween. but i don't know if it will be possible.
well...thats about all i'm putting in this bloody blog for today.

hope everyones okay.

and...
what would YOU do for a klondike bar?
...[ so random ]

well...bye everyone!

♪Full...moon sways...♪

2005-08-12T15:08:00.000-07:00

HEY BHAYBII!
i read [ saw ] the e-card you sent me...thanx a lot. it's real nice ^_^.
anyways...yeah...i'm at the computer lab here at school...tomorrow if the new liabrary is truly open then i will send you a real good and fun e-mail! ^_^
anyhow...please...keep postin' at my site...( the tag-board ) so yeah...anyways...gotta go!

["Daiski!"]

^_^

well..good bye then.

2005-08-01T19:20:00.000-07:00

iT'S Kyo Kusanagi powering up...i think it's cool!

2005-07-27T18:31:00.000-07:00

Just felt like posting in...or something...
i don't have much time so...yeah...
today i went to an interview at MDI interviewing services...i hope i get the job...anyways..i don't have much time...so ima go now...

please come back again and leave a message on my message board!

Love Ya'll!
(especially you Jasam)
See ya!

2005-07-19T15:12:00.000-07:00

...NO ESCAPE...

2005-05-17T15:02:00.000-07:00

2005-05-17T14:29:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody!lol
maan!!
have i got MANY stories to tell all of you!...unfortunately...i will not post them up...because i have to ask someone first.

anyways...
heres the...recent news...

This friday we will be playing again for this one "lock-down thing" at the church. we're going to be playing 3 songs.
and well...
we had juts recently begun recording...and let me tell you...it's A lot harder than u think.

and...yeah...
lol
love you Jasam!
hehe..
and...
*ahem*
yeah...i also think that we'll be playing when Hattie comes back. *sigh*
well...
thats all...chack back later.

2005-04-30T17:09:00.000-07:00

2005-04-30T14:23:00.000-07:00

Mood: Stressed...

I have had a rough week...
Julian and i got caught while runnig away from the school while we tried to escape from the A.P's Tardy sweep...but we got caught anyways
...anyways...theres a BIG chance that i might get sent to Palomar High..
(*sniff*...and i cannot enter school grounds because if any of the A.P's find us or spot us...then we'lll get imprisoned and fined...

so...Bhaybii...im soo sorry...i can't see u...anymore.

i love u and i hope u continue to do great in school...don't end up like me...a near high school drop -out.
...*sigh*...
i'll be taking good care of myself and im not giving up
and yeah...
ima work x-tra hard for you!..
and...ofcourse i will feed myself regularly (healthy food now!)
hahaha and yeah...perhaps once in a while i'll drop a letter in ur locker...just like old times.

ok?

well....thats all u people have to know for now.

please...i might not be blogging in for sometime...so yeah...
bye everyone!

"WHy am i soo worried?...oh im soo scared...that i might have made one of the greatest mistakes that i will ever make in my whole entire life...but maybe im mistaken...i just have to wait...."

2005-04-26T19:06:00.000-07:00

Well Hello all...
god...do i have unfortunate news...

you all knew Oso...right? (Eddie Van Halen)(poopy)(whatever)

well....
...
OSO DIED!...
god...it was horrible...
...
ugh...
ther blood everything...i saw it before my own two eyes...

you see...on Sunday.....well...i threw out the trash and stuff...and when i was outside i thought that it was a beautiful day to walk OSO...so i asked my sisters and stuff...and yeah...so me and oso were on our merry way down to the bike track by that river thing and yeah...well...yeah...we were out for abotu a good hour and a half walking and stuff ( we took breaks in walking don't worry!)
and yeah..
so then i was gna go home alreadi so that i can feed OSO ( i promised him hot dog Franks)...and yeah...then we were going by the Mile of Cars and oso didn't have his leash...so i was gna put in on him but i guess he thought i was playing with him so he ran across the street and then ...tis white car...just...ohhh...
i just saw oso 's neck get ran over by one of the wheels.....and...ohh...i ran towards him...didn't care if i would have been hit either...i picked oso up...and his neck limped to the side and blood spilled......ohhh!!!
...i carried him in my arms...i was practically covered in Oso's blood...and my shirt was soaked in it.....the only thing people did was stare at me like i was crazy......
...i went into this church building place much like our own...
and this guy saw me...( i was crying okay...so i don' t know) asked me what was wrong and...i pointed to the dog....Oso was still alive...i could feel his lungs trying for the air...and yeah...the guy let me use a cellphone to call my mum...
when she answered...i asked her not to tell my sisters...i asked her to please not tell my sisters because i didn't want them to see Oso the way he was...
...soo then i started walking towards Sweetwater and then this lady just pulled up next to me and told me to get in...i did it without question...she drove me to the gas station where i saw mario and yeah...then...yeah...you don't have to hear the rest...
point is he is dead...i killed him...i should have put that damn leash on him...
...my sisters...are soo sad...my mum especially...and Mario isn't talking to me...because of the money he put on the dog...
...im the bad guy in the family...but i don't need sympathy...
Oso needs it...
i hope you all remember him well...he didn't even get to live his first year with us.....

...im such a failure......

anyways...

Rest In Peace oso...i will always remember you...
we wil always remember you...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
besides all that...

April 25...was a special day...
and ofcourse i will remember it for life......

hehe...a beautiful day...a beautiful ~~~~

and yada yada yada...(you don't need to know! lol)
haha...but just YOU and me...

and well...today i had this testing and yeah...
it was alright...couldn...'t stop thinking about it...
and yeah...

tomorrow i have the whole day free...so thats good...but it doesn't mean im not going to do homework...
i have to do like two projects...so yeah
turning em in next monday...

and yeah...heard that Thusday (or wednsday) is Michelle's Birthday!
That's Great!!! XD

andwell...thATS ALL I HAVE TO SAY.....oh...

and Julians A....@#&*^$#...because he calls me....(txt me actually) TO Call him and yeah..so i did...like 4 times...and well...i cal him in the late afternoon (around 4:30) and i ask him why he didn't answer his phone...and he's like "because i don't want to WASTE my minutes" so im like "what the fuck" in my head...
so i ask myself... then...why does he ask me to call him if he's not going to answer or just tell me he's just wasting his minutes on me.......GOD...i just don't understand....
i just told me not to txt me anymore or call me from him cell phone...
and i am definately not going to receive any of his phone calls from his cell phone...
or any phone...
...cuz yeah...even if there's band practice...
Jesse's gonna have to call me...
or israel or Luis...

anyways..thats it....good bye everyone!

2005-04-21T18:38:00.000-07:00

Mood: Pissed

Bhaybii im sorry for hearin' the unfortunate news bout how you began posting and how ur computer froze...
...perhaps if you would like...we could destroy ur computer together...u and me??
lol...maybe not...best to have a fucked up computer rather than not having one at all huh?
...anyways...lets see...today i came to see Jasam in the Mornin' (came a bit late)...she looked great! (as always of course!)
...then she handed me her blog post that was written on paper...
and yeah...(i was soo excited before and after reading it!) XD
maaan...then during nutrition break i went to go look for Jasam and i wus walking down the hall-way when i ran into Jasam just immediately when I turned the corner...
we both looked at each-other with surpise ( i let out a little gasp)
and yeah...we both laughed and couldn't stop smiling or thinking about it...(talk about excitement for us huh?lol)
and...well...i hadn't eaten breakfast yet...but thats not important...
we played hackey sack and stuff and yeah...then i remember...
Mr.Goveya/ Govella/Govellya/ (whatever >_<)
came over to where Jasam and i were playing and...i was scared out of my mind...because if he would have found out that i was in LEarning Center...i would have surely lost my place in SUHI...
but...
he just wanted to play hackey sack with us!!! lol...gosh and i was getting all nervous and stuff...
(Greeaaaat now i can't stop smiling! :D)
yeah and yeah...^_^
then i saw Jasam during lunch...though i was terribly late...and i totally forgot about the letter/blog post...(Condemn me to hell!!!)
lol
yeah...i was at home and i closed my eyes for a few seconds...and when I WOKE UP
it was already 11:59 A.M!!!
anyways...i got to school to be with Jasam just in time ^_^
and yeah...today Jasam and I did not eat noodles...becuz she forgot forks.
and also because it was mighty crowded at the noodle place...
soo we just skipped it cuz i didn't want to spend my whole lunch in the noodles place.
after school we played hackey sack again ( it's fun damn it!lol!)
and yeah...Jasam gettin better by the day...so proud of her...*sniff* hehe...*exagerrating*...no but really she is getting better.

and yeah...
i waited at home...looking at the phone....waiting for the blasted thing to ring...thought she would call me...cuz she asked if i wanted to go somewhere...but...i guess she must have changed her mind...or didn't have time to call..or parents were home...whatever..i understand...and yeah
that's it...
OH and just now before i came to Learning Center i saw Lord Julian...
said he wuz at the gymnasium watching "Asian Performers" of somesort...i was rather interested but i couldn't ditch today...
and here i am now...typing about my day...
and well...lets see...
in Learning Center...this guy is sitting next to me...(gangster)
and behind is sitting some obese kid that lookes like a girl...
and the other people in the room...well...
the're doin work...(the're all gangsters!)
lol...anyways...i should do my work aswell
soo....please leave a message on message board...and see you all soon again!

See You Later Space Cowboy

2005-04-20T20:23:00.000-07:00

Hi Again everyone!
today was another great day. Talked to my luvs again...it was cool. didn't know i was such a cool "boyfriend"LOL...anyways what she told me made me feel real good.

ANYWAYS...today there was this assembly outside. it was cool. surprised at how quick the assembly was. possible cuz i was having soo much fun?! hahaha. well yeah ofcourse!lol...was sitting next to my girl...and yeah...a lot of my friends were there. i was great. and Lunch was great aswell...bhaybii brought me noodles
(thanx! lol love you! ^_^)
and we played Hackey SACK!...it was fun...incredible how skilled Jasam and her friends are in playing with the SACK.
and yeah...
an embarrasing moment?
well...i accidentally stepped on Jasams foot and when i was drinking the soup from the noodles Jasam accidentally hit me and made me spill some soup on me and she hugged me and kept saying "sorry! sorry! sorry!" lol...well it was okay Beb...alright?...and im sorry too...

and well...I guess Julian and Jesse did not go to school or something...before i came to Learning Centre They said that they were going to practice...IF THEY COULD FIND JESSE!..
supposidly he left with Angel somewhere...anyways yeah...sucks that i am unable to practice with them today. but guys...its my future...gotta finish Learning Center...and im not going to DITCH!
and Julian kept telling me how wonderful a time he spent with Lady Melvis...
ahh...how nice...to feel loved and all....nothing can be compared to that feeling except pain...
uhh..
okay...thats all for today...^_^...thats not all i felt today,...there's soo much more...but thats all you have to know...

2005-04-18T20:28:00.000-07:00

jUST POStING IN...
tALKED tO my BHAYbii TODAY...SHE CALLED ME..IT WAS A REALLY NICE CONVERSATION THAT wE hAD.aNYWAYS...POSTING IN fROM lEARnING cENtRE.
...
wISH I cOULD sAY MOrE BUT UNFORtuNAtELY i hAve TO gO.

jAsAM i love YOU! LOL sEE YA TOMmORROW!
AND...yAH...bYE eVERYonE! pLEase coME BACK!

2005-04-15T17:07:00.000-07:00

my body feel soo hot...i want to feel cold...
when was the last time i felt cold?
oh i don't remember...
but it seemed like soo long ago...
...i better go...
i love you Jasam....please be okay...happy okay?...
alright?!...
bye...
sorry for bein soo mean...

2005-04-15T16:30:00.000-07:00

OKAY!!! THE INTERSESSION REFLECTION!!!
WOOO!

alright well...lets just say that intersession was...hhmm..."breathtaking X 16"? lol
yeah well...lots of things happened...
like...well...yeah
and yeah..

turns out that today we're not taking the bloody band pictures because Lord Julian had to go to a bloody funeral...(GREEAAAT.....)
so yeah...
tomorrow Julian and i are goin to look for jobs i think...
and perhaps practice a little...
and yeah...
...not much to say...
hahahha
well..there are a million things i want to say...but...im not...
hahahah..well...

please come back tomorrow...or monday...
^_^
good bye all!

2005-04-14T20:31:00.000-07:00

2005-04-14T19:16:00.000-07:00

im not going to post much now...but later tomorrow i will post my reflection on the Three weeks of intersession.
now all i look forward to is tomorrow...because i get to see Jasam...
and plus...we the band are taking band pix and perhaps if they come out well enough i will most definately put em up in this site for all of you to see and stuff. and some other pix that my Gurl e-mailed me. (i look soo funny in it) anyways...more disturbing than funny...ahh...anyways...i have made myself Keeper Of The Records for my band Hope Once Died
i hereby declare myself

First Keeper Ivan

ahh...anyways....

thats all insignificant...

Now...
Jasam,
Thank you bhaybii for making (or choosing) this site for me...its great. i really like it a lot!...and don't worry about those two little words...i know what you meant. i know you didn't really mean it. ^_^ c'mon..i guess thats just how we get a long. and i like it that way. im glad ur not afraid to say it to me. ^_^
and yes indeed today was..."breath-taking"....damn the "electricity" and all.
Hahaha maan. Hahaha. as Jasam says..."no story, Just a flashback" hehe...sorry all.
and yeah
Thanx babe. Love you soo very much! (wishes to hug you)...ahh...theres always tomorrow.
thanx again.

YOurs Always With Unquestionable love...

"K"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
for the rest of you...well..
just comeback tomorrow or if not Saturday...it will have news on how the pictures went...if we ever take em.

good bye! please leave a message on my message board...and read my bhabii's post below this one...
thanx!
bye!

hello!! Juuni here!!

2005-04-14T17:04:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone!! haha. posting here for my bhaybii ^_^ i changed the layout to this one. Its from this one anime called "Naruto." Tell us what you think haha. ohhh, bhaybii tell me what you think too, okae? hehe i know i know.. its not a very good post but yeah..just updating it for my mahal.

today was...breath-taking? lol. no stories. just a quick flashback for me. haha. "electricity" eh? bhaybii sorry for being the first and onlie one to say that two words to you..i didnt mean it in a bad way. i hope you know. ^_^ well, til next time ppl. ja!

I Love You So Much Bhaybii!! see you tomorrow ^_^

lovelots,
Juuni

2005-04-12T19:00:00.000-07:00

gotta change layout...comeback later

2005-04-12T18:59:00.000-07:00

...i'll blog in someother time.

2005-03-30T17:04:00.000-08:00

THE TAGBOARD AND LINKS IS ON THE RIGHT SIDE...SCROLL TO THE RIGHT ON USING THE LOWER SCROLL BAR IF U WISH TO LEAVE A MESSAGE.

hI EVERYBODY! Yes...spring break...its wonderful how much can actually happen in a few days of break following intersession. If it weren't for intersession...who knows what i'd be doing or how much i would crave for affection from my love. ahh but all is well. for me that is. i have heard unfortunate news...and nothing of it makes any sense. how can they break up...after all they have been thru together...how could he just..."let her go"?. if he really loved her he would try doing something about it...even if it means bending rules...or...something. and how could she break it off? ...it doesn't make sense...but...i guess i don't know the whole story. i just don't understand how things could have gone wrong. ...to me it seems like they both gave up on each-other. he even accepted the "facts" about her past. she accepted his "ways" and whatever. they accepted each-otyher but now...it doesn't make sense...ahh..ima stop rambling about this...i don't know the story...

today Jennifer and Mike came to my house.,...woke me up...(despise them) lOL joking* and yeah...Jennifer fell inlove with "candy" ...the dog next door. and besides that!....

"She" has been coming over to my house for the past couple of days...and well...we have been...well...ahh that doesn't matter.

today we watched a CHick Flick at my house...

Serendipity!!!

yeah`...its a lovely movie...though the ending...was......uhh..Hahahaha...blurry? hahaha..u might know what i mean.
also...after school i talked to jennifer for a while...she told me she was waiting for felipe. she told me hat felipe said he woud be right back...
he came at around 2:50...thats bastard. Damn him. i walked jennifer home myself...because im cool like that.
we talked along the way and then we arrived at her house in no time.
later i went to Jack in The Bx because i was REALLY thirsty...and well...yeah. Andrew was waiting for a order of a bacon cheese burger, two tacos, fries...and a X-tra large coke. he offered me a meal aswell...how could i possible refuse? i was hungry like a motha-Sucka. anywho...i got the same that he got. and we talked...and then Michael Joined us..he ordered himself a Jumbo Jack and 4 tacos...he gave me and andrew one each. we talked about relevant..recent news. it was all interesting....but i had to go...cuz my girl was gonna come out soon...so i went and waited for a good 10 minutes right outside the 100 building.

and yeah...we waited again forever...her aunt must have forgotten!lol...oh well? lol. yeah...it was all great. Oh and i had green eyes today. it looks cool on me. people say it looks natural. i dunknow.anyways...thats it!!

anyways yeah. who knows what might happen tomorrow...
oh yeah! shes going to wear one of my jackets for tomorrow. dunno why...^_^ but yeah. anyways...hahaha! good bye everyone...sorry for updating late...

Yeah...

2005-03-17T15:10:00.000-08:00

Hello peoples!! It's me Julian!! I "hacked" Chris site thingy....so yeah... I'm updating for him! HAHAHA!!! I have'nt seen him for awhile...so i have no clue on what's going on in his life. SORRY!! All i know is that he better get his ass to Band Practice this following week!! We need to get working on new songs and stuff!! SO YEAH!! Hey Bitch (Chris-ta-fur) if you're reading this then... yeah...you're reading this. Just Call Me! So...yeah...I hope you all have a nice St Patrick's Day! Also have a great Spring Break!! WOO!! SPRING BREAK!! GIRLS GONE WILD!! WOO!!!! WOOOO! HELL YEAH!!!!! JULIAN GONE MILD!! *removes his shirt but there is still a second shirt under it* WOOO!!!!! That's Hot! Anywho yeah...that's it bye...

Hope Once Died - HATEWILLDIEWITHUS

2005-03-09T16:41:00.000-08:00

"to be your happiness...you have to understand my darkness before you can understand the light..."

well...We have finally moved to the new house! It's great!
the neighbor hood is great...
the house is a little smaller than our last...but its big at the same time...
at the side of our new home is a liabrary full of novels (mostly love novels) and other interesting things. its cool. and i have my own room. its small...probably about 13"x13" . its big enought to fit all my things though. my bed is on the floor...but its mighty confortable. i put layers of blankets on it. and the blanket i use to sleep is SOO soft. yeah. it's great
i still have to show people where i live.
we have already moved all our things to the new place...and yeah. the only person that knows where i live is Mike. he's been coming over recently...its cool. we played XBOX and stuff...and watched Napoleon Dynamite...its funny..but stupid...Napolean never shows emotion. so yeah...thats it...bye now...

the house address is 2646....no apartment number so yeah...bye!

2005-03-03T17:07:00.000-08:00

Well...it's certainly been an interesting day!^_^. I stayed with her after school, it was great really!, but then...uh...a teacher appeared...told us to "break-IT-up"...so...we did. damn them! ugh. anyways. i don't understand why they have to hate on us students if we're doing our business. i know...the rule of no couples "stuff" has been around for a long while...but it's finaly touched a nerve.
Anyways, i shouldn't get all worked up about it. today...
i saw Jasam durin' lunch, we ate noodles (she finished hers first!) and...yeah.
we matched black along with her friends. it was great! but i also noticed that nearly the whole school was wearin' black. *sigh* "oh well" as my love use to say
and well...thats really all that happened today.

Tomorrow i am going to see Jasam again ^_~!!!
and yeah...you know.
well...hope you keep visiting this bloody place.
! oh yeah im using the school computer for this post. The school computers rock!
They are soo cool and "fluid-like". it's great.
ahh...well...thats it! bye!

2005-03-02T17:04:00.000-08:00

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become characters.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

hello everyone
its another day!...
ok
well....jasam and i didn't really match at all today...
and...the quietness again...
we ate noodles again as always...
*sigh*...
anyways...
hahahha
well..guess thats all you have to know...
uhhh..
yeah...

oh yeah...and Hey JASAM!...

2005-03-01T17:26:00.000-08:00

Today I was in a particularly bad mood.

2005-02-23T16:14:00.000-08:00

a chinese proverb
"The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure."

Hey It's another day in the life of Mr.Christopher. lets see.
Today...
Me and "her" matched green!
different shades ofcourse she wore a bright green "pastel" green and a deeper green under that and blue jeans...green eyes ofcourse and i wore a sage green (very deep green) and a nasty green for my pants.

besides that!

as always she brought me noodles ^_^ *yum*-beef flavor

and we didn't really talk much. i wish we...i wish i could open up to her...and talk about...whatever!...but i feel a bit nervous around her friends. im afraid of kissing her when her friends are around. they haven't really seen us kiss. and...well..this and that. Ugh...point is i just don't know what to talk to her about. ofcourse though, we really don't need to speak to each-other...we know almost EVERYTHING about each-others life's...so..yeah...i don't think its unhealthy...we just really trust each-other. and it's a good thing! anyways.
i saw Julian during lunch...he called me something horrible...
i didn't appreciate it...and Michelle doesn't tell him to stop. thats even worse. they both laugh it off! it's all good though...im used to being made fun of. doesn't make a difference. no pont in making a big deal of it.

and ...i ound out something about Jenny and some Alex guy yesterday. I think she
s going out with him or something. yeah. anyways.

i also went online when i was in Learning Center. i know which computer has Yahoo finally!. everybody uses's it in the class i think. but ofcourse i did my essay's first.

Learning center is horrible. everybody makes fun of everything. like the gangsters in there are trying to prove to everybody else that Mr. Hager is into men. and soo when a guy walk into our class room everytimes somebody shouts "MR.Hager! WHY ARE YOU SWEATING SOO MUCH? why is your face turning red?" and everybody starts laughing or whatever. simply because the class is normally dead silent...and if everybody breaks the silence everybody laughs. stupid i know.

when i got home my mum did not make dinner so i just went to bed.

AND!

WE"RE MOVING!
yes were moving to a new home here in National City.
i think near SUHI. so that we can keep our dog Halen.
and plus i get my own room and whatever and i will finally have my own table were i can work!. yaay. probably moving around March. so yeah. my phone number might change. GOD I KNOW! it was SOO easy to remember huh? it was the easiest number in the world! now its going to be different. anyways.
thats all the news i have for you.

please take care everybody.

"what is hardest to get..., but easiest lost?... ... ... TIME!"
-Chinese Proverb

"if we love nature as we love ourselves, the earth will become beautiful and all good things in our human lives will come to be the part of the earth"
-Chinese Proverb

"Three things the wise man does not do. He does not plow the sky. He does not paint pictures on the water. And he does not argue with a woman."
-another Chinese Proverb

"Wisdom is but knowing what to do."
-Chris
"A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows the public opinion."
-that homeless guy that hangs out aroud Plaza Boulevard

2005-02-22T17:03:00.000-08:00

I'm exceptionally artistic!
Virtues: You look for immense creativity and individuality in people, including yourself. You're not happy with anything less than brilliant, and you focus on being expressive. You value energy, liveliness, and upbeat personalities, but you're not supportive of moodiness when you yourself can be unreliably moody. Seeking activity, you like the bustle of business but need the secluded atmosphere of a studio or private corner.

Aspirations: You feel the need to express your talents, whether it be through writing, drawing, singing, dancing, composing, performing, or photographing. While you strive to ever improve your work, you want to display it as soon as possible when your impatience kicks in. You want to be a prodigy but you might not have the means right at your fingertips. Trust me, do NOT move to New York to do it. Yeesh!

Quirks: Conformists bother you because of their lack of individuality. You're often late or unreliable. You're showy and refuse to share the spotlight. You only tell little white lies. You worm your way into the hearts of others, but be careful; some people despise the show-offs.

Factors: Surround yourself with activity and you'll always have material to work with. Involve friends and family in your projects so they don't feel like envious outsiders.

Future: Show business or not, you'll settle down happily if you're among those who appreciate your natural talents and desire to perform. Don't stay in one place too long, and don't be too hasty in defining your relationships. Who are you to judge what only time will tell?

* * *

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.

HELLO EVERYBODY! I SERIOUSLY HAVEN'T POSTED IN A WHILE. WELL...LETS GET TO THE POINT...

Our band Hope Once Died will be performing at Chula Vista Middle school. i don't know why but we are. and well...yeah. you know. details are at Julians site. (michelles boyfriend if you will). and yes it is free and everything. and whatever.
besides all that band stuff i have been good. things with me and "her" are SOO GOOD. i don't know. i love her soo much. hahaha what can i say? hahaha! Jasam yesterday had band competition and they won 4 trophies! and jasam mentioned that one of the trophies was bigger then her (wow!)...im soo proud of her!. i hope she continues to win trohies for our school. good job my love! sadly they did not go to the carnival/ festival/ whatever it was/thing...then they went to the mall to eat and yeah. ^_^
thats all you have to know. bye everyone!

2005-02-07T15:56:00.000-08:00

Angel of Mine ||..::Jasam::..

2005-02-02T16:07:00.000-08:00

I feel you
Your sun it shines
I feel you
Within my mind
You take me there
You take me where
The kingdom comes
You take me to
And lead me through
Babylon

This is the morning of our love
It's just the dawning of our love

I feel you
Your heart it sings
I feel you
The joy it brings
Where heaven waits
Those golden gates
And back again
You take me to
And lead me through
Oblivion

This is the morning of our love
It's just the dawning of our love

I feel you
Your precious soul
And I am whole
I feel you
Your rising sun
My kingdom comes

I feel you
Each move you make
I feel you
Each breath you take
Where angels sing
And spread their wings
My love's on high
You take me home
To glory's throne
By and by

This is the morning of our love
It's just the dawning of our love

I feel you
Your precious soul
And I am whole
I feel you
Your rising sun
My kingdom comes

2005-02-01T16:05:00.000-08:00

Has anyone wondered where the word LOVE comes from? and all the things having to do with it?
...well...i found this little chapter in D.N.Angel...and i like to believe it...
Love was the name of the angel that Dark liked.and she dies because of Satoshi. and Dark is mad. insanely mad....because he had not "loved" anyother angel than the one that he had met. he knew what he felt...but the feeling was unknown. ...-_-...don't ask...anyways...here it is!

Prologue.

Dark sat in the dark rain. Soaked in dripping water. Love wrapped in his arms. Dark’s hands came down rubbing her cold cheeks. Her eyes were closed, her breath decreasing. He stared at her face and at her limp body. Angels started to surround them.
“Give it up Dark. You can’t escape us.”

Dark looked up from where he sat. An army of angels surrounded him. They were all dressed in deep armor and swords drawn on the ready. The Archangel Satoshi stood before Dark.
“You can’t run any farther with her.” Satoshi said his white wings draping up behind him and soaked in the rain.

“Lantis.” Dark spoke the name. In a split of a second Lantis appeared. Dressed in dark armor his sword glowing in the rain. A split second after him Darks army of demons appeared.
“So this is the path you choose.” Satoshi said and he drew his sword from it’s sheath.
“I will never give up.” Dark said. He stood now, with Love in his arms. “Move or I will kill all in my path.”
“You forget Dark. That I do not give up that easily as you do not.” Satoshi said with a half grin and charged.

With his pitch black wings Dark lifted into the air with Love in his arms. Satoshi behind him.

“Arrows!” Satoshi shouted to the army of angels as he flew after Dark in the rain.
The arrows started flying. Dark dodged the first flight of arrows, but the second one was to heavy on him. Two hit his wings and bounced off. The third hit his right arm. Dark dived towards the ground. Making enough time to land safely. A sword pointed at his neck. Satoshi.
“It’s not too late.” Satoshi said.

Dark did not speak.
“Dark?” Love spoke. Her voice so soft that Dark could almost not hear over the clashing of swords.
“Love?” Dark’s hand came running down her cheek. “Shhh. Don’t speak.”
Love still with closed eyes made a painful effort to smile. She lifted her hand up. Dark took her hand in his and put it to his cheek. A single tear escaped Love’s closed eyes.

“Love?” Dark whispered her name, but there was no answer.
Satoshi stood there silent.
Dark lowed his head until both their foreheads meet. He gave a shudder and put her down on the muddy ground before him.
“She’s gone.” Dark said and stepped back from Love’s body.
Satoshi held his sword to Dark again.
“Either way. You come back with me.”
Dark smiled at Satoshi.
“You can’t run anymore.” Satoshi said.
“Your wrong. I’m not running.” Dark said and with a move of his hand his army stepped back and came to his side.
“Good.”

“I’m bring this battle to earth.”

“No! You can’t.” Satoshi stepped forward towards Dark.
Lantis blocked his way.
“I can. For what you’ve done to me and to one of your own kind. By the powers of hell I can.” Dark gave a laugh and was swallowed by a dark shadow. His army right behind him.
“NO!” Satoshi took two running strides and lifted into the sky. “Inform the others. Dark is taking the battle down to earth. Get help.” With that he was gone.

People ran everywhere. Houses, villages were burned to the ground. Only the young and the old were spared. Dark gave an evil laugh and walked through the village.

Satoshi scanned the land before him and saw the rising smoke. With a great flap of his wings he stride for the rising smoke. When he landed he couldn’t believe his eyes. He saw Dark with his black wings and his sword in hand. Satoshi made his way to him. Dark turned around.
“Satoshi. How nice of you to join us.”
“You have gone to far Dark. These people are all innocent of what you yourself have committed.”

“I? Oh no. It was not I. I did no wrong deed. You were the one that took from me. You are the one that has committed the wrong deed.”

“Dark. You will either leave here or you will await you punishment.”
“I have no punishment.”
“Then you shall die by the hands of the Archangel.”
“My my my. The Archangel Satoshi threatens me. I do not think that there will be any dieing today.”
“By the powers of the heavens and the powers that were bestow upon me. I. The Archangel Satoshi of the Heavens above this earth will by the sword of flames banish you.” The sword in Satoshi’s hands turned into fire. As red and as fierce as the fire spreading around them.
“Lord Dark. The army of the heavens have arrived.” It was Lantis. He was upon his black stallion. Cape flying wildly behind him.
“Then this it shall be.” Dark said and his sword came up to touch Satoshi’s. “We fight till the end.”
Swords collided. Arrows flew. Wings torn apart. Blood all over.

Dark came to his knees. Satoshi stood over him. Blood dripped from Dark’s face. His hands covered in it. His wings were torn and arrow holes marked them.
“This is the end Dark. The end of you.” The sword came down, but stopped. Something held him back. Dark.

Dark looked up at Satoshi. Then at his surroundings.

“I have found something so precious, yet it was taken away from me. Something so beautiful something that I have never in my whole life time felt as I did. This emotion has no name. It has no source. No explanation. No timing to it or any control of it. I curse this earth. I curse the people of it. You will suffer what I have suffered. You will feel what I have felt. You will feel happiness, yet at the same moment feel the pain. You will feel joy, yet the bitterness of it. You will feel the passion and the desire, yet you will feel the yearning and the lost. I will call this emotion Love. For that was whom it came from. Hear me now. All people born of this earth. I curse you with all the powers that is bestowed in me. The emotion I have named and called. Love is what you will find in each other, yet you will feel the pain and the great links you must take to love as I did so. Let you suffer what I have and let you yearn for what I have. Love. That is what this curse is. Love.” With that a sudden wind picked up. A chill ran through Satoshi. Then with a great howling of the wind, Dark disappeared.

i will put more up tomorrow...
good bye!

2005-01-19T17:48:00.000-08:00

Another Great Escapade

hello everyone, my back pack got stolen. or...i don't know. i wasn't there when it happened. but...anyways...
is a black backpack...with SUHI on the back. my keys are in there. my very expensive pencils. a binder with some of "her" Best drawings that she had given me >.<
man...i feel....like shit
anyways.

im not going to ramble about that

yesterdayat night (because i was feeling like shit) Julian and I decided to go for a walk.
we left from the Casket Gallery and we went East. through Plaza Boulevard. the whole way East. we just walked endlessly East. it was nice. being away from it all. we walked what seemed for hours. past many unusual stores. went through some dark streets. laughing...talking...and mostly thinking. i was thinking soo much. how i could possible fix all ym problems at once. but thats my problem...if i try to fix it all at once...it will all get tangled up. Chaos.
so yeah
i thought abotu other things aswell.
like....what im going to get her for Valentines.
...how the heck im going to finish my late classes by June...
who would have the patience to teach me math...i thought about everything....
perhaps i might have learned a thing or two about myself aswell
but yeah...anyways. we went really far...we walked...and walked in the endless darkness...until we reached this one sign...it read...
"mini shopping mall"
and i was like
"what the heck? there is a shopping mall around here?"
so then Julian flipped a coin 4 times before we decided to head off to the mini shopping mall. but...to our suprose..there was no mini mart...
there was a NAVY EXCHANGE
...*sigh*...so we headed down the street called Reo

we continued to walk down this street. and...it was SOOO clean. no litter anywhere. nobody was out. nothing could be heard. it was cold. the sound of our footsteps was audible. but thats it. this place was nothing mundane. it was terribly clean.
anyways...we continued to walk Down Reo...and we went through some patch of grass...the grass was stiff.
but yeah.
when we reached the end of Rio...we looked back...and we saw a sign...

"No Tresspassing. anyone caught on premisses is to be sentenced or...put under arrest"
something like thaT
WE FIGURED ITS WHERE ALL the army people live.
and from there...i can't explain...im tired of typing..i still feel weird...
good night people...

2005-01-13T14:53:00.000-08:00

Close my eyes//
Let the whole thing pass me by//
There is no time//
To waste asking why//

anyways..i found this online...i think it is cool

2005-01-12T13:37:00.000-08:00

Tsuki wo miru tabi omoi dase!

hehe...my most favorite phrase.
i might tell you what it means if you ask me nicely.

anyways...yeah...Shine!
just playing...not that i want you to.
ahh well...i'll post later. i don't have much 2 much to say.

| | _|_ _|_ ----+----
| | | | | | | -/-+-\-
| | _/_ |-+-| | |-|-|
/ \ | |_|_| | -----
/ \ | | / |__,

i found some pics that reminded me of you Jasam...

well yeah...anyways...
i've found some more pictures...

2005-01-10T11:30:00.000-08:00

"A-so-bi-wa O-wa-ri-da!!! Na-ke! Sa-ke-be! So-shi-te...Shi-ne!!!
Ra-ku ni wa shi-ne-zo!!!"

I THINK THIS IS A NICE PICTURE>>>REALLY SAYS A LOT ABOUT THESE TWO

2005-01-08T16:38:00.000-08:00

I HEARD THESE LYRICS FROM A LITTLE GIRL...

I don't know....
what words i can say....
so wind has a way....
to talk to me...

flowers sleep....
a silent lullaby...
i pray for reply...
im ready....

quiet...
day...
taunts me...
oh serenity...

someone please tell me
what is it i say?
maybe i will know one day...

i don't know...
what words i could say..
so wind has a way...
to talk to me...

flowers sleep...
a silent lullaby...
i pray for reply...
im ready....

2005-01-08T13:25:00.000-08:00

Whenever sang my songs

On the stage, on my own

Whenever said my words

wishing they would be heard

I saw you smiling at me

was it real or just my fantasy

you'd always be there in the corner

of this tiny little bar

My last night here for you

Same old songs, just once more

My last night here with you?

Maybe yes, maybe no

I kind of liked it your way

how you shyly placed your eyes on me

Did you ever know?

That I had mine on you.

Darling, so there you are

with that look on your face

as if you're never hurt

as if you're never down

Shall I be the one for you

who pinches you softly but sure

if frown is shown then

I will know that you are no dreamer

So let me come to you

Close as I wanna be

Close enough for me

To feel your heart beating fast

And stay there as I whisper

How I loved your peaceful eyes on me

Did you ever know?

That I had mine on you.

Darling so share with me

Your love if you have enough

Your tears if you're holding back

or pain if that's what it is

How can I let you know

I'm more then the suit and the voice

just reach me out then

You will know that you are not dreaming

Darling, so there you are

with that look on your face

as if you're never hurt

as if you're never down

Shall I be the one for you

who pinches you softly but sure

if frown is shown then

I will know that you are no dreamer...

Yeah...anyways i found this i believe is very true...and if you'd like...i can prove it. but i am not. because all of you are to smart for that.

yeah anyways...the whole band meeting is over with...mostly about me i'd say. and well...yeah...today i had band practice. it was great. no drummer. it was nice and smooth. well most of the music that we played. ahh...anyways...she hasn't called me. that sucks. man...ahh heheanyways..

yesterday i was with Michelle all day. she made breakfast for me. (IT WAS SOO DELICIOUS!) i try making what she made for me but it was a disaster. -_-. anyways yes. we played games. (Dance Dance Revolution) and Michelle's father talked to me about illusions....about music. about singing. made me realize a lot of things. but my hands are too lazy for me to write down what i realized.
and well...yeah. ohh yes i've been thinking about things for quite sometime...i don't think it's healthy though. i don't know. anyways. i got the cowboy bebop music from Julian finally! yaay. i get to listen to Real Folk Blues. Yaay and The Pillows!!
YAAAYYY. hahaha. so what have all fo you been up to? (you may respond to that question on my message board.) not much? aLOT? HEHE...i wonder when im going to see lizzy...
well....i'll put up more later. bye people.

2005-01-06T11:28:00.000-08:00

Well its a new day. a day full of mysteries. a day of adventure. well....if you choose to make it an adventure. anyways. someof you are probably wondering why im linking music to my site and what-not.well...so that you may listen you know. its all nice music. everytime i go on a computer i will link you a new song to listen to. all you have to do is click on the text that i tell you to click. todays new song is
*drum roll*
the new song for today is "Don't Be Afraid" from the Final Fantasy8 game
its really nice. just listen to it...its nice. Tell Jessica to listen to it peoples. i think she will like it.
tomorrow i will put another. okay?
click on the link belowCLick here to listen to "don't be afraid" click here click here click here !!!

anyhow.
today we have this "band meeting" at the park @ 5:00P.M. i know its weird. but we never talk or anything about how we feel about each other anymore. perhaps we could use this meeting to accept each other's mistakes. not to be scattered fragments of a work of art. on the contrary,to be a whole. we're only a rough sketch now...but just watch as the finer details kick in. until we become the masterpiece. but if our band cannot cooperate. it will become a waisted drawing that was amazingly priceless. ahh enough about me. hahaha i mean...our band. so yeah. this year i will be coming back to regular school with all of you! (who attend regular classes at SUHI)
so yeah. not much to look forward to. and...well...i won't see "her" any time soon. i ...didn't promise to her mother that i wouldn't see her...i promised myself. because i can't bear the simple thought of "her" going away. much farther away. but anyways. i will work hard to come back. i have my class to graduate with. 2006!!!
hahaa anyways. yeah.

ahh yes before i forget allow me to tell you about ..::Carnival Night::..
it was okay. Julian And Jesse went to the concert at Soma. they spent their newyears there because i guess they thought they would have nothing better to do. so yeah. i spent my newyears with Lady Melvis. it was a lovely night. we ate with her family on this extended table. the dinner table consisted of a normal and hearty "thanxgiving dinner" if you ask me.
it was all good. but gosh my hair was all over the place. i think. i was hiding my face most of the time. my hair was in my face and all. people were commenting on my hair...actually..only twice. but whatever.
so yeah. i was with Michelle until like...2 o'clock in the morning. anyways yeah. thats pretty much it. soo...yeah comeback tomorrow if you will. bye.
stay tuned for the latest songs from me Christopher Ivan Parra

2005-01-05T16:18:00.000-08:00

If you know what is best for you then you will click on this and listen to the most beautiful piano music you have every heard. that's right. click on this text. and listen. the ending is awkward...but its beautiful music....listen to it darlings...

2005-01-05T15:50:00.000-08:00

hi everybody...wow...Christmas and everything has already passed. a lot has happened since then. ^_^ allow me to explain.
On Christmas...
Julian called me in the morning...asked me to go to jesse's. ofcourse i knew why. we were all going to give eachother gifts. so yeah. i got for Julian an AC~DC shirt. i got Israel a black and white shirt. And Jesse got a sweater from me. ^_^. when i got to Jesse's house we waited for people to arrive. and then finally...we opened all of our gifts.
what i received were the following...
*guitar/bass cable
*Guitar/bass picks
*Shadowsfall CD
*Hackey Sack(8-ball design)
*$10.00
*a brown sweater
and....the late gifts that i received....from SOMEONE
*a beautiful black watch...which i named Dark
and other gifts i got were
*Halo 2 For XBOX
*a lot of money which i used to buy new shoes (VANS if you need to know)
*guilty Gear X2 Carnival Night #RELOADED

and that was all. ^_^
i think
anyways yeah
i decided to name Newyears Carnival Night since it is full of everything from gunshots to Christmas lights to everything...its simply full of life.

but i will write about that on my next post. good bye everybody...i still need to manage my website and stuff...^_^ come back soon

2004-12-22T17:06:00.000-08:00

Hey Jasam click on this go to the website and download the song KUSENAITSUMI....i huarantee you will love it! its cool. hehe. just click on THIS text PLEASE ITS SOO COOL!! I LIKED IT

2004-12-21T17:30:00.000-08:00

click on this text to listen to a song from SM Girls Saber Marionette....its really cool....click on THIS text if you want to listen to it....it like...technoish music donw on Keyboard(MIDI) you know...anyways..thats all. ^_^

HELLO EVERYBODY...
once again i am here. i felt rushed because Jasam Texted me. asking if im coming online today. i am! im here Jasam!!! please come online!. i came running here hopig she'd be online. still waiting...
ahh yes...now that i am here i might as well type what i have been up to all morning.

today at around 6:00 AM!!! >_< jessica called me...asked me if i was up for i walk. i ofcourse didn't think about it much and emediately i said "sure...why not"...you mus5t understand ofcourse that i was very sleepy still...but being the nice guy that i am, how could i refuse a walk with Jessica? ahh anyhow, i went over to her house and then we walked a little, talked about serious matters that can, indeed affect all of us, though i will not get into specific details. (YES JASAM IS ONLINE FINALLY!!! YAAYYY *can't stop smiling*) ahh anyways...ima go now....i want to chat with My love...bye...please visit tomorrow
...actually...i have a duty to inform u of what going on in my life....i will continue...

yes we walked and Jessica met Eddie Van Halen for the second time? ahh well yes...we walked halen for a while...it wasn't much...and Jessica continued explaining her situation to me. later we took Halen back home and we left to Jessica's house...
there she cooked breakfast for both of us (and a fine breakfast it was!)
she made eggs and sausage and a couple of cups of the finest orange juice ( i thought iut was). later she called Lizeth and told me to tlk to her so that she could give me directions to her house. (because Lizeth moved to a better house)(rented) yes so she told me the house waslocated to grove street? or gross? i do not know, anyways. her house is beautiful. supposidly it was pink. the house. but it was anuything but pink!. the house was a beige colour.
the interior was plain. simple. nothing too extravagant except the living room size...and the lovely bedrooms. and the garage. it was indeed a simple yet lovely house. any of us would have done anything to get a house like that.( i would)
enough about the house. I wandered (as a little boy would ) into Marios room. such a lovely room it is. so cozy. even on the floor. but poor boy he desereves better than that. i went into his room and i felt like resting for a while. and little Mario telling me about adventures he has had. showed me a beautiful piece of art that he had created with glitter pasted on cardboard to show an image of a spiderman climbing a wall.
to move on...
we all went into Lizeth's room. her sisters bed was like a marshmallow! soo soft. so squishy. Lizeth's bed...on the other hand...was hard as a rock. yet mysteriously confortable.
i lay there reading the YM magazines. on the cover of one was the singer USHER...i found myself to be reading thru a number of articles...
i found one in particular which caught my attention.
a girl went online once. this girl after going out with her boyfriend for like 3 months, suspects that he is cheating on her. so then on the internet, she makes a new account...and begins chatting with her lover. she flirts with him as if she were another girl.(ofcourse she's tryig to find straight answer's...she has to do this)
she askes her boyfriend online if he has a boyfriend and he admits that he does!, BUT! that he doesn't even consider her to be her girlfriend, because she was short and looks under age, and that he was planning on breaking up with her shortly,
though her boyfriend knew nothing of her having a new screen name, she broke up with him emediately the next day.

yeah anyways
i read stories like that in those magazines...
and as i read thosae stories Jessca lizeth and Alicia were over at the compyuter listening to eminem music. for like 40 minutes. later her mother made a delicious
chilaquiles for us with beans and yet again super special Orange juice.
it was delicious. then the vibe of the room turned into sadness. because then we broke into a madenning conversation about parents. how they do not understand us. how they do not know us....how it is hard to live our lives as us. i will not get into any detail.
later little mario put the Spider Man movie 2 for me and we both watched it. i hadn't seen it before so yeah.
then we left home. when i got home like at 3 i spent the rest of the day playing this game called Shadow Runner. its about this guy ( u control him) and he waked up from a comma or something. and well...he's a computer hacker. throighout the game u try and figure out ur identity by slowly decrypting computer codes and whatnot. hacking and destroying codes and..its rather complicated. even if i explained it would not make any sense to you. so yeah i played this for like 3 hours straight until Jasam texted me asking me if i was online, that she might come on again. i ran to the liabrary hoping she'd already is online. and then she came on. and we had a fantastic Plastic conversation. ^_^ i love her soo much. she is soo adorable!!!. anyways...i will not write about her only. it is too much...plus then u'd think that im being too soft..or too "mushy"...so yeah...and here i am trying this post. i typed a message to Michelle...but she logged out. ^_-...i must have done something wrong. anyhow, i am still here...still typing....putting down moments of my life...that will soon becoome history tomorrow...a bit older...a bt wiser...a bit everything. ^_^ anyways...yeah..and Julian here urging me to listen to John Mayer.
well..thats pretty much it for now...oh and im listening to Scars from the X/1999 anime. its really cool. bye everyone

2004-12-20T16:45:00.000-08:00

CLICK IN THIS LINK HERE!!!

2004-12-20T15:18:00.000-08:00

hello everyone!
HEY I STRONGLY RECOMMEND YOU put those things up on the search bar ON THE LINKS THAT I WEILL BE PUTTING...IT HAS NICE MUSIC...JUST LISTEN...I'LL PUT BETTER ONES UP. ONCE I HVAE FOUND THEM...
THIS ONE IS CALLED STARRY SKY
http://images.animelab.com/midi/Angelic_Layer/angeliclayer_starrysky.mid

AND THIS ONE IS CALLED THE REAL FOLK BLUES
http://images.animelab.com/midi/Cowboy_Bebop/the_real_folk_blues.mid
i strongly recommend you listen to it...its really nice...its a piano.
anyways
well...my days have certainly been...a bit happy. also...every day i find out more depressing things about othetr people that makes me want to cry. what can i do for them, except listen? nothing. noting eitherr because they will not allow it, or because i simply cannot do something. i well wish that i could do something for everyone. even if i can lighten the pain, the burden of all those troubled ones...
anyways...thats all that i can say at this moment. Oh i saw Jasam at wal-mart. it was totally unexpected! i couldn't belive it! i wanted to say soo much! anyways...that is all that i will say. good bye everyone!

2004-12-18T16:54:00.000-08:00

2004-12-17T14:49:00.000-08:00

hELLO everyone...i put up a new song...its a Christmas song believe it or not...
it by a great orchestra that call themselves The Trans Siberian Orchestra...its quite lovely if you really listen to it. I like it. the name of their masterpiece is called Christmas Eve Saravejo anyways..yeah...also...heres a little something for everyone...please read...

..::Lonesome::..
Come here
Pretty please
Can you tell me where I am
won't you say something?
I need to get my bearings
I'm lost
And the shadows keep on changing

And I'm haunted
By the lives that I have loved
And actions I have hated
I'm haunted
By the lives that wove the web
Inside my haunted head

Don't cry,
There's always a way
Here in December in this house of leaves
We'll pray
Please, I know it's hard to believe
To see a perfect forest
Through so many splintered trees
You and me
And these shadows keep on changing

And I'm haunted
By the lives that I have loved
And actions I have hated
I'm haunted
By the promises I've made
And others I have broken
I'm haunted
By the lives that wove the web
Inside my haunted head

Hallways... always

I'll always want you
I'll always need you
I'll always love you

And I will always miss you

2004-12-15T13:32:00.000-08:00

"LOVE ME NOW....HATE ME LATER"

oh...this life...at some point it seems pointless...hopeless...but then we get some sort of motivation that keeps us living. so whats my motivation? my friends...my art, my desire to come clean in the end. my desire to shed a few tears...my desire...to be in the top. now...what pushes me to a point that i don't want to live anymore? people telling me that i betray them....people that look at the day of thankgiving 2004 as "the day when Chris ditched us". yes...it hurts me so...and i am not selfish...i care about those that i affected that day. but gosh...it drives me mad...
ANYWAYS....
yeah...im going to Mexico for Vacation....i don't know when i will be back. sadly. and yes...i will miss all of you...and well in advance... Merry Christmas!
...so um yeah. ^_~...who knows...my family might change their minds. but...i don't know.

anyways....heres somethings that i picked up from the internet...

well thats it everybody...bye

Im waiting...

2004-12-14T17:39:00.000-08:00

Ahh...the pain continues...
a common question that we all ask each other..."WHY ME?!?!"
damn it....indeed i am the bad guy. i make people wait...i "BETRAY" them. indeed that is my pronlem...but i am not perfect...ah Yes...but Please do force the hatred torwards me! i thrive on it! It wont change a thing anymore...im sick of being soo vulnerable to hate...sadness....anger......
i wont take it anymore...and if you consider me to be...a betrayer....then don't rub it in...because i might just betray you yet again!...
Im soo angry right now!..............
damn it....Grrr...the anger is unbearable!!! i might actually stay up all night drawing anger...comics about people dying....comics about me and her...about me and my band...that will soon be.
and well...about things that i wish could happen.
i will stay up all night...i know it....because....it just one of those things that are troublesome......Ohhh!~!!! GOD!!!! why do i scream for god! i never believed!...oh! god damn it why do i scream your name when im in deep sorrow!!!
...i guess we all do....because its the only thing that comes to mind....ohh...im sorry everybody...i just....im soo sad...and angry...and i will say no more....leave me alone now...

2004-12-09T15:50:00.000-08:00

Good Day Everybody...
I do Not have the patience to type...i do not have the patience nor the time to type what i really have to say...so please...visit me again tomorrow...i will have something worth-while; for your curious eyes.

until next time...

Always...
Phantom Thief Dark...

2004-12-07T15:43:00.000-08:00

Nothing interesting ever happens...
these days are soo dull...
anyways...i can't wait till friday...
and thursday...

well i guess i'll just tell you what happened yesterday at Learning Center::..
well i got there quite early....to write a letter and leave a book...from there i went over to the bench to do some work...
and then i enetered my class room at 6:00pm
i stood there drawing...i actually regreted not bringing my book Queen of the Dammned with me...anyways...it was the same as always...just working until 9 and thats it...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

anyways...thats all i have to say...
oh and i put up a poll question...so you better answer it...>_<...
bye everyone!!!

Always~
Christopher Ivan Parra

2004-12-02T14:31:00.000-08:00

Whats does your personality rate from 1-10? by morning_prayer
Your first full name
Your personality rates a	11
your best quality is	people like you
your worst quality is	you need to relax...alot
this is because	Of the people you hang around

Quiz created with MemeGen!

What Will Be Your Overly Melodramatic Death? by Celaeno
Name:
Gender:
Are you beautiful?
Your death:	Guillotined, after taking a friend's place so that the friend can run off and marry your own true love.
Your parting words:	"All I want to know is... why?"

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Afterlife as an Angel by childdoll
Your Name
Astrological Sign
Angel Type	Angel of Nature
Wing Color	Black with silver tips
Heavenly Weapon	Axe

Quiz created with MemeGen!

quizzes

2004-12-02T14:27:00.000-08:00

2004-12-02T13:19:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone! we meet once again! well...i wont be online today...much. Im thinking of remaking my whole website...but im a little scared...html scares me. ^_~ anyways not much to sayexcept that the quinceanera is pretty soon. this saturday. Jesse and Julian have not decided wether we will be playing there our songs or whatnot. i might just ask Julian if i we can play that one old school song by Daft Punk with Bass Piano And Guitar. i dunno. i might not even ask....
man these nights are so COLD!!! its freezing! gosh!......i remember when the nights were plain -old -normal (for me)...i can't take the cold anymore..and yet i still walk the streets...awaiting..."something"...something is calling me!!!...Grrr..anyways...thats all i have to say...see you all later!!!

2004-12-01T13:03:00.000-08:00

Heylo! this is our guest for this whole week! its Lulu from Final Fantasy!...yeah...ahem..and whos that other guy? He's Cloud!
..anyways....guess what peoples? i almost got killed by a frreakin Fedex truck! Damnit i was like day draming or something...and then i saw it go past me...not to far a distance away form my nose....man..i felt like destroying that stupid truck!!!

anyways...Maan Theres this cool Manga that everyone should read! its Called D.N.Angel...gosh....man..heres the story...since i got nothing else to put up.

Daisuke was just an average 14 year old boy with a crush an an average girl named Risa, or so he thought.
On his birthday he discovers he comes from a bloodline where the males turn into the Phantom Theif Dark-Mousy. It's all connected to love. When he thinks about the one he loves, Risa, a gene in his DNA reacts and he becomes Dark. He can only change back when Dark thinks about the one he loves, Riku.
Daisuke is very good at picking locks and avoiding obstacles because he had been trained to be a phantom theif since he was very young.
Daisuke is a kind hearted young boy. He is sweet and will rush to anyone's aid if need be. Daisuke's heart, however, is a place of confusion. As Daisuke evolves through the series, his love for certain characters grows. And Daisuke not only learns about the people around him, he learns about himself and grows into a stronger character.

The legendary phantom thief Dark is a creature who has lived for centuries. Within every male in the Niwa family, Dark can come alive. And in Daisuke's case, change a person.
Every time Daisuke thinks of the girl he loves, he transforms into Dark. Unlike Daisuke, Dark is moody and a little evil. Dark lives to steal artwork and it appears that no one can stop him.
There are times when Daisuke has control of Dark's body and times where Dark has control of Daisuke's body. Dark doesn't like Daisuke's body as much as his own, but enjoys causing problems for Daisuke.
Dark seems to have feelings for Riku. His feelings of love transforms Dark back into Daisuke.
Much of Dark's past is a mystery, but there are those who know him from the past. With their interference, details of Dark's past are made clear.
Even though Dark and Daisuke aren't always thrilled with each other, Dark makes Daisuke a stronger person, and Daisuke makes Dark more aware of his actions. Together, they are able to grow and learn from each other.

It may seem as if Hiwatari is the enemy, but after a while it becomes clear that Hiwatari is one of Daisuke's dearest friends.
Hiwatari is a mysterious boy in Daisuke's school. He always seems to be watching Daisuke, and records everything into his notebook.
Hiwatari lives to capture Dark. He commands a unit of guards to complete this task. However, the task of capturing Dark is harder than one would think.
Hiwatari's past is a mystery. He met Dark once long before. Now he watches Daisuke. He knows Daisuke's identity and keeps an eye out for him. Whenever Daisuke is in danger or in trouble, Hiwatari is there.

Risa is Riku's younger twin sister. Unlike Riku, it takes Risa a long time to catch on to things. Her assumptions and lack of logic create many problems for Daisuke and the others.
Risa was Daisuke's first love. It was her that allowed Daisuke to transform into Dark for the first time. Risa rejects Daisuke for the one she loves - Dark.

Riku is a girl in Daisuke's class. She is Risa's older twin sister. Even though Risa and Riku are twins, Riku is a lot brighter than her sister.
Dark seems to have a thing for Riku. Riku allows Dark to transform back into Daisuke. Although she doesn't show them at first, Riku has feelings for Daisuke. She stays by Daisuke's side through times of trouble, and the more time she spends with him, she continuously realizes more and more about him.
Riku's personality makes her one of the strongest female characters in the series.

With is Daisuke's furry little companion. Besides being Daisuke's cute little pet, With helps out Dark. With has the ability to turn into a black-winged creature. It is this creature that acts as Dark's wings.
With also has the ability to take the shape of anything it wants. This helps Daisuke out a lot. While Daisuke is stuck being Dark, With transforms into Daisuke and carries out Daisuke's life for him.
With tries to bail Daisuke out of trouble time and time again. However, at times, With has caused a lot trouble for Daisuke. With has trouble speaking and water is his greatest weakness....
and..well....the story...well...i can't tell you exactly what happens in the story...but thats all the info i can give you...Sorry!

anyways thats all everyone!
...Oh...has anyone been outside at night? lets say around 9:00 P.M? maan its soo freakin cold!! scarf and gloves wouldn't even help! gah! anyways...i'll be seeing all of you soon!! hahaha ti'll tomorrow!
Oh Hey For you who haven't seen my puppy this is what he looks like!!!!! ^_^

2004-11-29T11:10:00.000-08:00

Good day ladies and gentlemen...how was your thanxgiving? was it full of awe? was it full of ...delightful surprises brought to life by your mothers? fathers? did you work together to make the feast worthwhile? ha...well....im glad. either if bad r good has happened. i am enlightened at this moment. and i don't speak in terms of BEING SAVED. i mean. so much happened on my thanxgiving day. please read this...it is important for me...and for you.

i shall begin to write the important parts of my thanxgiving day.
it was late, dark already. i was reading Queen of the damned ...when the phone rang. when i answered it was Mr. Julian. right away when he asked kindly " is Chris home?" i knew something was up right away...he had asked where i was...what i was doing...thought i decided not to tell him the true story for it would render me a Betrayer. i told him i was feasting early in the afternoon with a Mr. Wade. fancy that he bought that excuse. then Julian started telling me that he had atleast 6 beers 6 tequila shots of somesort and so had Angel. his voice was ...happier than usual i sould say... he then invited me to comeover...i agreed. so then i put on the darkest clothes i had...put on my scarf and was on my way.

as always i took the long way to Julians. Through the downhill behind seafood city throught the back were there you would find wooden; ancient stairs. from there i walked to were Sav-on drugs was at and i took one of my hidden shortcuts from there. then i made my way torwards Julians house , making everything but haste.

When i was nearing Julians house...i was already at the corner when came running torwards me from a distance and was like "Chris HEY!
i didn't answer right away...i wanted to know if he really was...

he asked again from a a distance and then i replied back " Hey Julian!!!"
and then he almost tripped and i was soo...surprised...he was drunk. and i knew it right away. then right away he stumbled once or twice and he was explaining to me something about a dog and Angel trying to kill it or something then we went over to HIS SISTER sILVIA AND SHE WAS LIKE...do you you want a shot Christopher? and i was like sure!. So then after a long while i had had 4 shots and...what 2 beers? or 3 i don't know
but after a while Angel's Rage took over. He was mad at me. (angel was drunk too)
he was getting mad at me ..saying " i fucken hate him man! because he thinks he can get any fucken girl he wants!" at this i was shocked...i tried thinking about it...can i get any girl i want? no...never...
then angel started saying that i was too sentimental...to kind....to everything...
thanx to angie and Jesse...they calmed angel down...told him it wasn't my fault that girls fell in love with me...i can't help it either...the pressures i mean....i don't know what to tell these people..."Im already in love!!!" and nobody can't take that away...nobody...she is my dedication...she is my everything...thought she might not know that i truly love her...i do...because i ...loved her since the 9th grade...she she liked me since the 8th grade! and we write to each other and we ....oh....soo sorry...getting into personal matter i see...*ahem...

anyways....we all sat outside Julians house....
and Julian broke down...he began mumbling something about silvia having stashed mariuana for a friend and then julian..."You betrayed me Sylvia....how could you do this! you took the fucken blame on yourself! why silvia *sob* why!?" then Julian began crying...i felt so bad...i've never seen him cry...everybody was quiet. Jesse....he only laughed at everything that happened( he wasn't drunk) i went over to julian and i put my arms around him and i was telling him to calm down...to be cool..to forgive sylvia...but julian still cried....heavy sobs there was. Sylvia was trying to confort julian as well...and the rest stayed quiet...it was sad...the moment that took place...i felt like crying too.

after a while (i can't remember what happened before what i am about to type)
we all settled...and we...began talking about our band. i was already dizzy because slyvia kept bringing me drinks so i was dizzed out. when we started talking about that we...no...we began to speak of our friendship...Julian ...he started telling us how he loved us....and he kept on talking...i was...in a nother realm...i looked back into the past...gosh...how much trouble had i put Jesse thru? how much have we been together and done the things we did? i gave him soo much stress... soo much...first kinda forcing him to hang out with Jasam and friends back in the 9th grade because i didn't want to go back to the "Mexican bench" ...he knew damn well i loved her. but thats is not the point...i looked back to our struggles...out dreams...the support that we had given each other in those olden times. i began to cry...and i mean CRY!.

i cried telling them that i don't know where i'd be without my friends...i loved them all ! said I...
my life would be ruined...without my friends...i would be a loner....a ...nobody...and it was mostly thanx to Jesse...for being there for me always...i love him. and Julian...he brought me into the Beautiful world of music. the strings...the cords...the harmonics...the music sheets the intrumnets...he introduced me to all this...he showed me my first piano piece. my first bass piece...and everything...he opened up my yes to what music really is...in my eyes...truly Julian was the master musician..thats how i see him..because he listens with acute curiosity and plays out of the blue...either because he knows..or because hes already learning it listening to the pluck of the stings...its like he sees where the finger movements are correctly suppose to go. julain...i love him too. And israel...i met him kinda late...jesse introduced me to him not too long ago. but we became emmediate friends. he is funny...a little clumy...but i still love him. i love all my friends...and if i wrote about all of them i would definately be crying no stop at this very moment...i could write on forever about them...the sweetest things...the nastiest things...everything. i love all my friends.....he he....i think im crying...

...to continue my story of my thanxgiving we all cried in eachother arms and angel came over to me....and jesse too and julian...and angel made us put our arms in the center i think...and he made a speech which i could not believe...i mean he was mad at me because girls liked me..but he was crying along with me and julian too..and he was telling me that..no..he was telling everyone that we would watch eachothers backs and...that we would always be together no matter what....AND I FORGOT THE REST....
what i do know is that when i left...Julian kissed me and Jesse good bye..told us he loved us and that we had practice tomorrow. band practice in the morning! god...

anyways...THATS i really feel like typing at this moment...
well...i'l make it quick
on friday we practiced from 6 A.m to like 12:00 and yeah...
on saturday we did absolutely nothing
and yesterday (sunday)
i went with jesse to chula vista mall to buy shoes...
and umm...yeah...we went over to the opinion center and we got $10 dollars for testing soda and answering questions!!! it was cool...with that money i bought my self D.N.angel vol 2....which i lent to jasam for her to read...(when am i getting the first one back?LOL just kidding)...so um yeah...and today...well....im not going to the bloody quinceanera practice...cuz Jasam just text me not too long ago telling me she might come online around 4 ...so im expecting her here ^_^ well...yeah...i will write more tomorrow...i have to do some research...good bye my darlings...

2004-11-24T16:02:00.000-08:00

2004-11-24T11:10:00.000-08:00

hEYLO everyone!!! gosh it's been a long time!!! hahaha well guess what people! im back! and im here to tell you all about my wild adventures that i have had with my buddies! "shoot!"LOL just playing! well i went to a number of concerts not too long ago some of them were
- Lost prophets
-The Used
-Story of The Year
-Linkin Park ( a long time ago)
-My Chemical Romance
-Unearth
-Terror
-Haste The Day
-Head-Automatica
-Letterskill(s)
- and more

i forgot the rest but yeah. i wish i could tell u in detail my experience at the concerts but...sadly im not going to for our sake.

also......

Im in a quinceanera for Jesses cousin. The quinceanera is next saturday on the 4th of december. cant wait to wear my tux. also i was going to ask my sister Lizzy if she can let me borrow her Izone camera so that i can take pictures. so i can put up in this site. ^_^

and well....
ahh yes....i got a cell phone! (another one) its prepaid. its a kyocera k9. whatever. anyways yeah if u want my number then ur gonna have to contact me personally.

and for latest news...

....just recently i went to Baronas Casino!!! WOW!!! haahahhaha it was soo beautiful there! really. Julian took me. we went because it was Julians Mums birthday. the trip took ; what seemed an hour but we got there in less than an hour. the place is HUGE. it was all....native if u ask me...technologically...native....don't ask. ah yes there was this grand "lake" as i would like to call it...it was soo beautiful! expecially at night. and the sidewalks all had depressions of some indian hyroglyphics. its really nice...very clean. at the entrance there was this rotating door. that kept on spinning...it was a bit odd though. ahh inside was absolutely gorgeous! as soon as one would enter you would see this over-sized fireplace...ceramic wood i am guessing. and all around this fireplace were slots and games and oversized men smoking wasting money, gaining money and ofcourse trying to flirt with the digital chicks.HAhahaa indeed as soon as i saw this digital chick on this screen i was like "oh crap! i bet Jesse would like THOSE" so yeah. i kinda wandered off at first. my curiosity was much greater than my desire for food.( we were going to feast at the grand buffet all u can eat inside the neon lit casino) i was facinated with the funny noises coming from every direction and ofcourse the LIFE that this place gave off. this place was soo active...filled with beautiful people or every nationality. anyhow i don't want to bore you with all the details. We all caugh up with each other and went to the buffet area. i couln't see much at first but...indeed the place was already beautiful. the neatly tiled floors the lovely guards( mostly female) and well...the smell coming from within the buffet. JUlians dad was paying at the register and WOW guess what....the bill was like...$140.00 sumthing dollars for 5 people and the tip being 15% im guessing would be bout 5 sumthing...anyways....as we were walking to our table i looked around and oh god! the amount of food and the varieties were immense. the areas were all seperated. and in these seperations there was CHineese food( from left to right) American food, Mongolian food, Mexican food (not very traditional), Rotisserie, and Italian food. at the center of the buffet there was the greatest selection or desserts! from Mexican Flan to Euclaires to ice cream to chocolate covered strawberries to and ofcourse cookies from all sorts and in the center of the dessert area there was this fountain that did not flow with water, but ofcourse chocolate! hahaha yeah. lovely. when we got seated i was determined to try the mexican food first (ofcourse! wouldn't you?) yes it was delicious and carefully made. but....the tamales were "dry" . our waitress was named "flora" or something to that effect. anyways julian and I made our way through almost all the varieties but we never tried the Rotisserie. oh well. it was all very good. the desserts especially. though the pies and cakes were all....i dunno....dry in a way.
haha anyways i loved the flan it was good. it all came in small portions. When we got all finished up we went over the the casino and Julian and I gambled a little. the thought of risk never came to mind. didn't get caught. but...when me and Julian decided to go out for a walk to let the food digest and what-not we kinda wandered too far. we were looking for a moving sidewalk and thats when we confronted security heres how the converstion went...we were outside...and it was cold...and corny music was playing...

security:" excuse me do you have I.d?"

Chris:"huh?"
Julian:"..."

security:" are u guys here alone?"

Chris:"..."
Julian:"..."

security:" how old are U guys?"

(at this point i was gonna lie to the security but i thought about it twice)

Julian:"...hhhummmm"
chris"....... ... ... . ."

Security:" how old are u guys?"
( sum rock music came on from the ceiling speakers)
Julian :" i like this song"
chris:" mee too!!! (laughs)"

JUlian" lets go..."
chris"...ok"

security" im going to have to escort u guys to the front driveway"

Julian" were going to my car..."
Chris" ( silent gasp)
Security:" wheres ur car?"

and from there i don't know how the conversation went...except that we had to get to Julians parents quickly because these guys knew we were under age.

when we saw them using the slots we were like...we have to go and stuff...
we didn't know where Julians sister Sylvia was at so then Julian called her on his cell phone and
said to her
"some ass-hole- rent-a-cop guy caught us so we have to go..." and ofcourse from there we...all went home....

thats not entirely what happened....i missed something but i cannot clearly remember....
anyways
well... yeah...as sum of u already know i 'ven been around campus ...well i wont be going there anymore...soo...sorry peoples...hahaha...sorry Jasam. well....stay tuned! i'll be blogging in monday thru friday not weekends cuz weekend we have band practice. see ya around!

OH AND....hEY jASAM...You think you could help me understand this bloody HTML codes? i wanna make another blog and change the background.(d.n.angel) so yeah. think u can help me? please? well see ya!

Updating for the hell of it.

2004-09-07T17:51:00.000-07:00

Hello Peoples!!,

It is I, Chris's Friend Julian! Yes!!! Well, I'm just here to update this for Chris. I really don't have anything to say but, yeah...oh well! ^___^

I just got back from a day of Skool. It was lovely! My classes are alright and stuff. But I'm making a few changes, like I'm getting ASB and Guitar Class! ^-^ Yay!! Enough about the beloved me!! The reason Chris doesn't update this site is cuz, he lost his Library Card in Mexico. LOL!! Whom are these jokers calling Chris gay? And all that non-sense? Oh well! That's all i have to say now. Go to my site!! and GO GAIA! Bye!

By: JULIAN VARGAS

Farewell

2004-07-17T16:33:00.000-07:00

For When The "Crow" Returns
by Christopher Ivan Parra

i couldn't believe it
i am gone
I didn't want to!
i didn't want to!
But they made the decision for me
i had no word in it
And then they just took me away
Like how the wind takes a kite away into the sky!
And now i will remain in a box with wheels
And now i will write what i feel
and i will write and write until my hand falls off
and i will read and read until the head blows off
Hahahaha
its funny though
the fireworks and all
i seen it coming
how could i have been a waste of money?
how could i have been a waste of talent? how could i become what i because before the setting sun did
a drastic change?
how is it that i blew out the lights?
i don't know but i was a waste of talent and a waste of money
i compare nothing to the honey of those lovely eyes!
oh how this person did all the work from scratch to a fine!
strating form not but a single line!
a line with a binding ,crunching, and creativity that would seem soo divine!
so real and yet so not alive!
like oil paintings of angels seem to cry
like the pastels of solid colour would make me sigh
Oh what can i do to take it back? who can be there to watch my back?
Ahh but nothing can be done now...nothing can be saved..
and now she will take my treasure for it is rightfully hers
and she will make a man wealthy in bills
and she will make me not worthy of her art ....

what am i saying...

i need a place to stay...
i need a place to heal...
i need a person that would listen to this soul...
a person that would not shy away...someone that could finally feel what could not be felt ...what could not be seen!
...
but there is a down fall to all this chit and chat...
i will be back
and i will be glad
and all will be told and revealed...
and the letters will continue...
and the perchings of crows will awaken what was once there
i will walk the slimy night
i will walk the ballad moon!
I will sing what was once sung!
i will be alive! oh i will...
nothing can bring me down....
i will walk again at night...and i will pois myself on the highest building Oh it will be lovely...
i will stand roof top to floor...
what will run through my head?
will i jump?
no...i will feel!!!! don't you understand that i can fly!!!
i am an angel...
the Forgotten Lost Angel...
And i am nothing now but and full of everything now!
paradox?
maybe!!!
only for those whom could truly understand!!
...
will come to see what is being told before you!
...and ohh...the months will pass and the words will exchange!
angers will reveal and so will the chains!
bind me not thou through pitiful words...
on message boards?
Hahahahha
thats seems to tickle my fancy!
hhahahaha
anywho whom can understand!!! do you understand?
you are way over your time! ...but so am I...
coincidence that angels and demons will collide!
surprising how blood and tears could hide...
so easily!
ha...
i am out of time and i bid you farewell
...but i am not the only out of my head....
am i out of my head? ha ofcourse not! think so or not...
i am terribly true...unfortunately...no one could choose...

( i wrote what i felt again...weird how these words just come to mind...LOL...i am quite prud of myself...! i can express my self differently now...through art, music, poems, writing, and all without a blade or a bruise!)

Hahaha..anyways,,,good bye....

2004-07-15T19:46:00.000-07:00

http://tinypic.com/mhc6

Quote of the day

2004-07-15T19:28:00.000-07:00

the quote of the day is...

Common Sense is the the less common one of all senses !

Lip Gloss and Black...a Vampires Lament

2004-07-14T18:40:00.000-07:00

I am the walking dead heartbreaker, my apologies,
I'm happy you'll never understand what
It's like to be trapped under six feet of solid glass,
I can see out, but no one gets in
Screaming at this prison, I've locked myself into,
I'm sorry that I'm still breathing and that I'll
Kill again. The loneliness is too much for me to handle.
But the taste for fresh blood, pushes me on.
The fear of romance
The pain of living
The joy of sorrow
The strength of forgiving
I told myself the constant pain would ease the tension burning inside
But the nights were cold and the days dragged to weeks,
I will die here alone I will die
God help me, I'm so tired,
but in my dreams the wolves eat out my soul
God help me, I'm so frightened,
but in my dreams wolves tear out my heart
I used to be golden, a saint in a time of sorrow,
but then the turning came and I kissed
The sun goodbye, don't you get it,
it's always darker in my eyes, the screams of my friends egging me on...like always...

Lip Gloss And Black

If I gave you pretty enough words.
could you pain a picture of us that works.
an emphasis on function rather than design.
aren't you tired cause I will carry you, on a broken back
and blown out knees, I have been where you are for a while..
Aren't you tired of being weak?
Such rage that you could scream. the stars right out of the sky
And destroy the prettiest starry night. every evening that I die. alone
I am exhumed just a little less human, so much more bitter and cold.
after all these images of pain, have cut right thru you,
I will kiss every scar, and weep you are not alone...
then I'll show you that place in my chest where my heart still tries to beat.
aren't you tired of being weak?
Such rage that you could scream. the stars right out of the sky
and destroy the prettiest starry night. every evening that I die
live love burn and die

WHATEVER....im bored...please read the following!

Hello everyone!
Yesterday was a very unusual day...well..okay. In the Morning, Jesse, Angel, Julian and I went to Hometown Buffet to eat there.(duh!) and we ALL DECIDED TO WEAR OUR suits. (simply because we caught so much attention from everyone) ofcourse we all looked our best! When we took our table alongside the wall we took out the light above us so that we could get everyone to absorb our eerie vibe. We ate a whole bunch and we had fun talking and ...pointing out ...people that caught our attention.
One person in particular...that we would soon confront was a woman. kinda old. and she kept staring out over at our table. We all started feeling unconfortable. I mean! who wouldn't!!! c'mon! this was bull shit staring WOman!!
anyhow...to continue this adventure...or misadventure of ours...
You see...this woman was staring at us because Jesse And Angel were checking out this 18 year old girl...she had a yellow shirt on...and well i don't want to get into detail. Angel had made a comment aboubt this girl when she passed by and the father and the mother must have caught the comment themselves.
and thats how this woman got to staring at us.! Jesus man! c'mon only because we were wearing suits didn't necessarily mean that we were in the Mexican Mafia or what-not! So I had an idea. I told Julian to get up and get a beverage. he did so..and you know what the mother did? she got up as if to protect her daughter and Julian just walked by like nothing. Then again Jesse had another idea...He told everyone to get up at the same time and spread out through out the maze of food. so then we did. And the mother was like going insane standing up trying to find her daughter amongst the people and the food at the restaurant. We all sat back down and we pondered..."why the hell is she straring?"
ao then i got super angry and turned all powerful and super saiyan!

Nah...just playing...but i wanted to
anyways...when we finally settled down to eat our desserts...
then the father came up to our table and told us in a deep voice...
"STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER"
then we were all quiet until we all started talking at the SAME TIME...
"We didn't do anything ...we didn't do shisnitz man! what the hell is your problem coming up to our table and accusing us of doing such wrongs!"
but really? did we do anything wrong?it was only a coincidence that we got up when the daughter had gotten up.
and there he was trying to reason with us and telling us to keepop away from his daughter...
he told us that hed get the manager tokick us out if we do not sit away..but really...we should have been the ones complaining!
we were..but...we had our reasons why we didn't do such a thing...
i remember when Julian said
"It isn't like we're going to rape her or anything! she is not even pretty enough!"
...that was just wrong...but i guess this man knew no english because he didn't react to it...
when he finally left our table Julian yelled out
"imdon't even like women! im gay! jesus christ!"
(he isn't gay peoples! he only uses that excuse to get through problems and situations as our own...)
then finally...we all decided to leave the restaurant(with two ice cream cones of vanilla and chocolate flavor! *YUMMY!*)
so then we all wanted to go to the chula vista mall (walking!!!)
so the we all went home and we dresses in more confortable clothing that would suit a long walk(everybody wore black! damnit!)
so then we made an hour wak to the chula vista mall from the Kimbal Park.
When we arrived at the Chula Vista Mall
we spent our time playing a drinking game...
we all sat down on a round table...the game was that whoever drank all the soda from the McDonalds Cup; would have to Get a refill....
...man..this gam3e took forever...nobody wanted to finish it and we all drank one droplet of soda when the drink was nearly gone...
i lost once And julian did aswell
AND Jesse lost most of the time...(he simply couldn't resist!LOL)
so anyways
we were walking and Angel noticed two girls poised on a nearby soda machine...
we stood watch and very close by...
(we were by the Macy's Building and Hot Topic...where all the Kids rides are at)
we were there for a good hour trying to get these girls's attention(actually...angel was doing everything...me Jesse and Julianni were just playing on the kids rides!^_^)
finally we caught the girls numbers and yeah...
soon after we went back to were the Arcades are at and the two girls came up to me...
turns out they wanted my number the whole time!LOL im not that handsome! god!
anyways..we talked for a while and I remember i was downstairs where the Fountain is at
and we talked for like 15 minutes until angel yelled form upstairs
"damnit Chris! stop stealing my girlsfriend im gonna kick your ass!"
anmd well...i don' twanna explain thew rest of the day...too lazy...i[l explain our good day at the Wal mart...and how we started "smoking" a slurrpee!"
good bye peoples!!!

oH...AND THE IMAGE OF THE DAY IS...

Yes...i beautiful Piano!!! my favorite instrumental!!!

lovely isn't it?hahha im thnking of changing the piano music on my site to another piano solo...by me! give me time though...i have to figure it out first...

oh and here are some hair styles..i was only browsing through them...look at them if youd like...i find them useful!

Oh and for you whom have seen kill bill...guess who this is?

kewl huh? anyways...bye!

Our very unusual day...

2004-07-10T17:16:00.001-07:00

Hello everyone!
Yesterday was a very unusual day...well..okay. In the Morning, Jesse, Angel, Julian and I went to Hometown Buffet to eat there.(duh!) and we ALL DECIDED TO WEAR OUR suits. (simply because we caught so much attention from everyone) ofcourse we all looked our best! When we took our table alongside the wall we took out the light above us so that we could get everyone to absorb our eerie vibe. We ate a whole bunch and we had fun talking and ...pointing out ...people that caught our attention.
One person in particular...that we would soon confront was a woman. kinda old. and she kept staring out over at our table. We all started feeling unconfortable. I mean! who wouldn't!!! c'mon! this was bull shit staring WOman!!
anyhow...to continue this adventure...or misadventure of ours...

You see...this woman was staring at us because Jesse And Angel were checking out this 18 year old girl...she had a yellow shirt on...and well i don't want to get into detail. Angel had made a comment aboubt this girl when she passed by and the father and the mother must have caught the comment themselves.
and thats how this woman got to staring at us.! Jesus man! c'mon only because we were wearing suits didn't necessarily mean that we were in the Mexican Mafia or what-not! So I had an idea. I told Julian to get up and get a beverage. he did so..and you know what the mother did? she got up as if to protect her daughter and Julian just walked by like nothing. Then again Jesse had another idea...He told everyone to get up at the same time and spread out through out the maze of food. so then we did. And the mother was like going insane standing up trying to find her daughter amongst the people and the food at the restaurant. We all sat back down and we pondered..."why the hell is she straring?"
ao then i got super angry and turned all powerful and super saiyan!

Nah...just playing...but i wanted to

anyways...when we finally settled down to eat our desserts...
then the father came up to our table and told us in a deep voice...
"STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER"
then we were all quiet until we all started talking at the SAME TIME...
"We didn't do anything ...we didn't do shisnitz man! what the hell is your problem coming up to our table and accusing us of doing such wrongs!"

but really? did we do anything wrong?it was only a coincidence that we got up when the daughter had gotten up.
and there he was trying to reason with us and telling us to keepop away from his daughter...
he told us that hed get the manager tokick us out if we do not sit away..but really...we should have been the ones complaining!
we were..but...we had our reasons why we didn't do such a thing...
i remember when Julian said
"It isn't like we're going to rape her or anything! she is not even pretty enough!"

...that was just wrong...but i guess this man knew no english because he didn't react to it...
when he finally left our table Julian yelled out
"imdon't even like women! im gay! jesus christ!"

(he isn't gay peoples! he only uses that excuse to get through problems and situations as our own...)

then finally...we all decided to leave the restaurant(with two ice cream cones of vanilla and chocolate flavor! *YUMMY!*)
so then we all wanted to go to the chula vista mall (walking!!!)
so the we all went home and we dresses in more confortable clothing that would suit a long walk(everybody wore black! damnit!)
so then we made an hour wak to the chula vista mall from the Kimbal Park.

When we arrived at the Chula Vista Mall
we spent our time playing a drinking game...
we all sat down on a round table...the game was that whoever drank all the soda from the McDonalds Cup; would have to Get a refill....
...man..this gam3e took forever...nobody wanted to finish it and we all drank one droplet of soda when the drink was nearly gone...
i lost once And julian did aswell
AND Jesse lost most of the time...(he simply couldn't resist!LOL)
so anyways
we were walking and Angel noticed two girls poised on a nearby soda machine...
we stood watch and very close by...
(we were by the Macy's Building and Hot Topic...where all the Kids rides are at)
we were there for a good hour trying to get these girls's attention(actually...angel was doing everything...me Jesse and Julianni were just playing on the kids rides!^_^)

finally we caught the girls numbers and yeah...
soon after we went back to were the Arcades are at and the two girls came up to me...
turns out they wanted my number the whole time!LOL im not that handsome! god!
anyways..we talked for a while and I remember i was downstairs where the Fountain is at
and we talked for like 15 minutes until angel yelled form upstairs
"damnit Chris! stop stealing my girlsfriend im gonna kick your ass!"
anmd well...i don' twanna explain thew rest of the day...too lazy...i[l explain our good day at the Wal mart...and how we started "smoking" a slurrpee!"

good bye peoples!!!

2004-07-09T14:49:00.000-07:00

i am sorry i brought it up

i shouldn't have

you probably really did not remember

oh but i remember so clearly!

but was it a dream?

i don't know but i just couldn't convince myself

did it have a purpose?

or was it simply wishful thinking?

oh god my head hurts

but i still have strenght to type

what did i do wrong?

have i done everything wrong?

have i sinned the greatest sin?

have i lied the greatest lie?

have i left you in disbelief?

what have i done?

what did I do?

i didn't know how I did it!

it was natural instinct...

it came naturally...

kill me now...

...god!

what have i done!

...do i deserve what i already have?

do i deserve what i've already lost!

am i walking the straight line?

am I hanging on a wire? am i walking a wire?

do i pocess such evil and darkness that when even i walk under the night sky that i could simply blow out the street lights by the mere thought of hate...pain...and every harsh word that exist?

is there hope?

is there hope for me to be saved?

is there hope to be hoped for?

am i asking rhetorical questions?

am i being a fucken Idiot asking you all these questions!!!

...oh...i must leave now...

but i will get a sign...you will give me a sign.....

and i hope i get it soon...god...

protect me in the night...

send a crow tonight...perch it atop a street lamp...

and if it flies away...then im lost....so give me hope....bring me hope...

and please...don't let the crow fly away...because then i will cry...

-Christopher Ivan Parra The Forgotten Lost Angel

...i WAS ONLY WONDERING IF IT REALLY HAPPENED...THATS ALL

2004-07-09T13:30:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone...whatever. Anyways...how is everyone doing?...do you like my site? hope so.
well...umm...not much has been happening...im just here....thats all.....good bye.....

"In Death I See Life
In Life I See Death
The Sweet Relief That I Long
The Hush Of Whispering wings
Have come to Take Me
Away, away "

I took a survey...on my love life?! well...whatever...read it if you'd like...it tells much about me

2004-07-08T17:29:00.000-07:00

A little bit about you
What's your name?:	Christopher Ivan Parra
How old are you?:	i am 15
Where do you live?:	National City
With whom do you live?:	my family...my mother m my stepfather, and my two little sisters
male or female:	male
What color hair do you have?:	dark brown...turning blonde!
What color are your eyes?:	light brown
Do you have any tattoos or piercings? where?:	yes...i have a tatoo on my back...really cool design
onward
Have you ever been in love?:	...
Are you currently in love? with who?:	non of your business
Do you have a crush on someone? who?:	yes...but i will not say
Do you have a friend that you like more as a friend? who?:	yes...
Are you a hopeless romantic?:	..i don't know
Do you want to get married?:	...i tell myself that i don't...but deep within...perhaps i do
Do you want to have kids? How many?:	...none
What's your ideal house?:	a nice two storey house ...
Would you rather be in a traditional or modern relationship?:	whats the difference?
What matters most as far as looks in a love interest?:	...well...i dont know
the least?:	make-up
What kind of a personality should they have?:	a nice one...a faithful one...a trust worthy one
What color hair?:	black...
What color eyes?:	red...or honey colored...or perhaps shiny light brown
Body type?(height, build):	...don't ask
Age?(guesstimation):	...`
You find someone who is perfect for you in everyway but.(cont.in next line):	???
...one way they aren't such as age....would you let that get in the way?:	i don't know
Would you fight for the one you love?:	yes
What if they don't feel the same?:	...then i guess...i wuld forever live in pain...
Have you ever fallen for a friend?:	yes
Did you tell them how you felt?:	yes
Do you still feel that way?:	yes
Do they feel the same?:	perhaps
Would you ever risk a friendship for something more?:	...i wouldn't want to.,..but...i don't know
What song reminds you of a friend or someone else special?:	...evanescence...some songs anyways.
A friend feels more for you then friendship. Do you want them to tell you?:	...a friend?well...i don't know...
How would you react?:	surprised...i wouldn't act...i would be surprised
Do you feel that way for someone?:	yes
Have you told them?:	...many times
If not well you should.:	...maybe...
Good luck with your love life::	whatever...you fucken survey...you make me feel aweful!

your love life brought to you by BZOINK!

2004-07-08T16:08:00.000-07:00

Hello...everyone...please be patient...i have to fix this site....my other one got completely ruined! anyways...i put up a message board on the left side of the screen...so yeah...this site also has such lovely music played by piano!...lovely.
anyways...please leave a message...be patient...all will be back soon....i only ask that you all write in your websites on my message board again...i want to put up your links! so that i may visit you...well...good bye my lovely friends

...hello

2004-07-08T15:43:00.000-07:00

before you speak ,listen....
before you write..think.....
before you pray,...forgive....
before you quit...try...... -_-